motivation Archives - Nesting Story

Do I Even Bother Keeping My Scale?

As I was unpacking I pulled out my scale and thought, “Do I even keep this?”

The last time I weighed myself was around Christmas. We had just begun another stay-at-home order here in Ontario and the food and booze were flowing. My clothes were feeling tight and I figured if I weighed myself I could shock myself into cleaning up my act and lose a few pounds. I hadn’t weighed myself since almost a year before and had mostly forgotten why I had stopped.

I had stopped weighing myself because I had realized that as soon as I take away the weight-loss goal and make it about achieving more strength, better gut health or generally feeling good everything falls into place where it’s supposed to.

Knowing the number was a slippery slope for me and even worse, repeatedly checking on that number. The reason is it would create this stressful yo-yo lifestyle that was so unhealthy.

If the number went up, I’d deprive myself. If the number went down I’d gorge and set off a SIBO flare up.

I’d completely stress about the natural changes my body goes through every month and every year.

What works for me is checking in with how I feel. Do I feel tired, weak, stiff? How is my gut? Am I bloated? How do my clothes feel on my body? How is my skin doing? Do I feel foggy, depressed or anxious? How is my stress level?

Once I have done a scan of my body and really have a sense of how I am feeling then I adjust accordingly. What I adjust is not always the same. Sometimes it means more smaller meals with extra vegetables. Other times because of my SIBO it can mean that I have to reduce my vegetables, fruits, sauces and animal protein for a little while to get out of a flare up and reintroduce them in small portions.

Sometimes it can mean I need to overhaul my schedule and really carve out time for daily exercise which for me is typically a little cardio and a fair bit of strength training with weights.

Lastly is my sleep. My sweet spot is falling asleep by 10pm and waking up at 5:30am. If I do that consistently then I am firing at all cylinders.

Ben and I are pretty similar when it comes to this approach. He called it his three pillars: healthy eating habits, daily exercise and good sleeping habits. I love that way of looking at it so I am going to steal it.

The couple weeks leading up to my move and right after I was a mess. I was eating whatever I could grab, which often meant leftovers on my kids’ plates, I was not exercising at all and I had the worse case of insomnia.

But I was easy on myself knowing that what I was doing was nearly impossible and I just had to survive it… moving four kids during a pandemic who weren’t in school as a solo parent to a new house and city. Phew!

But… I friggin’ did it!!! Whoop Whoop!

About a week after my move I was feeling it. All my clothes were tight, I was trying to sleep better but it was still spotty, and I had set off a pretty bad SIBO flare up. It was time to piece back together my three pillars.

As I unpacked I pulled out my scale. Weighing myself didn’t even cross my mind. No way was I falling into that trap again. I almost tossed it but remembered I may have to weigh my kids fromm time to time so I have slid it way under my closet built-it.

In the meantime I will be protecting my three pillars and making sure I don’t take life too seriously (I am shoving my face full of Lucky Charms as I write this… just keepin’ in real).

Good bye scale!

Health and Wellness for My Entire Family – How I Don’t Get Left Behind

This post was created in partnership with GSK.

When I became a mom of four, life always felt like I was going a million miles a minute. I tried to carve out time for myself here and there, but I sometimes thought that the days of feeling really healthy and fit might be behind me.

Today I am healthier now than I have ever been in my life. It’s pretty wild to think that after having four kids and at age 37 I have really found balance when it comes to leading a healthy lifestyle, getting daily exercise and really nailing the healthy eating habits thing.

I must say, I am pretty proud of myself.

I have always had a fairly healthy lifestyle, but after struggling for years with digestive issues, it became really obvious that I needed to make it a constant focus daily. Adapting intuitive eating habits partnered with focusing on nutrition-packed food for fuel… it was like everything fell into place.

When it comes to exercise, that too has fallen into place … finally!

I was never a joiner and definitely had zero interest in any team sports. I would exercise here and there, but it never really became something that I’d look forward to or set goals towards.

Last fall I tried CrossFit, (something I thought I’d never do because it looked too intense), but it has not only been the perfect fit for me in terms of pure joy when working out, but I have also joined a fitness community and conquered my social anxiety surrounding fitness.

To have these two extremely important wellness pieces fall into place while parenting four kids, running my own business and balancing it all during a time in the world that is already chaotic is a feat in itself is kind of amazing.

What is my secret? Drop the perfection and put my own and my kids’ health and mental health before everything else, as well as having organization in place so that there is space for wellness and selfcare.

Keeping my kids’ wellness front of mind and organized has been a system I have developed over the years and seems to really work. We have “expectation guidelines” pasted to our fridge. This includes everything from manners and daily personal hygiene to how we treat each other as a family. I have also split yearly wellness check-ups into seasons. Late winter is eye check-ups, late spring is yearly physicals and the fall is the dentist followed by vaccinations for flu and a check of when other vaccinations may be needed for myself or the kids in the coming year.

Which brings it back to me. While taking care of everyone else, us adults can tend to fall through the cracks. This includes our own wellness check-ups and adult vaccinations, because they are not just for our kids, so talk to your doctor about what might be recommended. For more information on what vaccinations may be right for you at what age and for a customizable vaccination tracker, visit vaccinateforlife.ca.

Because here’s the thing… in a world where we’ve felt like things have been shaken up a lot, life’s real priorities have floated to the surface. Forget the material things or the superficial life before 2020, what really matters most is our mental health, our physical health and the deep connection we have with the people in our life.

Take good care of yourself.

Disclosure: This post was sponsored by GSK. While compensation was provided, all opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not necessarily indicative of the opinions of GSK. This post will not be monitored by GSK. If you need to report an adverse event for any GSK product, please call 1-800-387-7374.

2019 Lights camera action!

Action. That word popped into my head this morning on New Years eve 2018.

The view from my bedroom window each morning here on Sanibel Island, Florida.

I feel like I often state what I’m going to do, changes I’m going to make or goals that I am going to achieve and then they piddle away.

Don’t get me wrong. 2018 was not a waste. In fact as I reflect, it was far from it. 2018 was a big year, for my career and for each member of my family.

You can read my 2018 recap in today’s Instagram post…

View this post on Instagram

It’s been a year! When I think back to 2018, one word I’d use to sum it up would be growth. We started the year by adding Oliver to our family, which has been the most incredible gift ever… (side note, I’m am missing him like crazy right now.) In the spring Beau was struggling and we as parents were heartbroken because it broke our hearts to see her hurt, but this past fall she began to blossom and I am in awe of the incredible little lady she has become. Mia and Everly began JK and like most milestones in their lives, they have thrived with this new transition. Holden has the best group of friends, has got really into hockey this year and is maturing incredibly fast. Mike began his new job and is so very happy. He’s also coaching Holden’s hockey which has given him a much needed hobby. Then there’s me… I look back at 2018 and see areas that I conquered and some that I’d like to give more attention to in 2019. When it comes to my business and my little blog that I began as an outlet years ago, well, it’s been a big year for Nesting Story full of new opportunities. I have also created my dream team who I don’t know what I would do without! But because of how much time work required of me, some of my self-care slid, as well as my decluttering journey. Instead of getting down on myself I am using these areas that I’d like to improve to propel me into 2019. I am so excited what this new year will bring including transforming my blog to include contributors. I am planning on getting better with time management and creating a really productive and nurturing morning routine for myself. I am going to work on meal planning more and creating time for both cooking and exercise. I am going to declutter! I have finally got Mike on board too to finally tackle his bins and bins of stuff 🙌🏻. I am going to continue with the family focused time we’ve started here on this trip and put my phone down more. I could go on… I love New Years and setting goals. So tell me, do you have a goal for 2019? 🥂🍾 #bestnine #2019 #nye #newyears #newyearseve #newyearsresolutions #2019goals

A post shared by Joanna Venditti (@nestingstory) on Dec 31, 2018 at 4:02am PST

This is our third week away. Yes, three glorious weeks away on vacation. It’s a bit extreme, but it was necessary. The first two weeks my mind was blank. I was able to completely focus on my family, but truthfully, I wasn’t inspired about writing, working or anything I had hoped for on this trip. I felt worried and discouraged.

“Oh no!” I thought. “This trip was supposed to reset me and get the creative juices flowing.” Instead my mind felt like mush and it was turning on me, telling me that it was over, my journey and my platform that I had spent years creating, sharing on and building a community had an empty future because I had nothing left to say and my sparkle was gone.

But this week ideas and thoughts started blooming. The clouds created by working so hard, and prepping for this monster trip which had metastasized into being fully burnt out, began to part.

No, I am not empty or done my work, I just needed time to recover. 2018 was not a waste, in fact it was the exact opposite. I had worked around the clock to position myself for the next step. I built a steady and reliable business this year. I created a dream team with three powerful, driven and supportive women to help shoulder some of the work so that I can tackle new projects.

I also spent the fall, (despite being crazy busy at the time), creating a morning routine, and going to bed earlier. This simple but challenging act will be something that I continue to develop, devote my time to and nourish once arriving back home. This morning routine will also set me up each day for the success, both personally and professionally, that I am determined to achieve in 2019.

All of this work, that I couldn’t see the fruits of while in the midst of it, was setting me up for 2019. This year I will take action. This year I will work each day towards my list of personal and professional goals.

Yes, there will be weeks when things go off the rails. Come on, I have four kids, it’s bound to happen. But one of my goals is to not allow a stressful, off-week erase everything. This was on my mind back in November when I pre-filmed my New Years goals video that went out today… NO MORE STRESS EATING!

So, here’s to 2019! Here’s to doing, creating and living. Happy New Years!

Look at your body after babies as a fresh beginning

After having my twins, (my third and fourth kids), although I felt a deep sadness for the mushy, stretched, bruised and swollen condition my body was in, a part of me felt excitement and renewed.

I was so thankful that my body had done the job it needed to do: carry my babies to full term. I looked at it differently than I ever had before.

Although sad, for the first time since I became self-conscious as a child, I didn’t feel anger, frustration or betrayal towards my body. I was filled with gratitude.

Now was the time to bring my body back to life, to strengthen and love whatever new shape it was going to take. It was like someone dropped a pile of clay in front of me and said, “this is yours to mould and nurture. A fresh beginning.”

The sadness is gone and my body is mine again. But I will never forget the journey it has been on and I will constantly keep gratitude at the centre of my relationship with my body.

Follow Nesting Story on Instagram for regular wellness and motivational body after babies posts.

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How I took my body back after having four kids – every single secret to losing weight and loving my body

Have you ever felt like you have no control over your body? Ever since I can remember, I was always the chubby member of my family. It saddens me to reflect on how much I obsessed about my weight, even as a child.

My body was always my enemy. Even as I grew into an adult, occasionally stuck to a diet and lost some weight, I was always experiencing inner turmoil with my body. So, I abused it, made fun of it to my friends, and cursed it under my breath.

I get a pit in the bottom of my stomach just acknowledging that I had these kinds of feelings for thirty years of my life. It sickens me.

But nothing made me feel more out of control with my body than pregnancies. My body was in charge and I was a passenger.

It took me three pregnancies, the final one being a strenuous twin pregnancy to change my relationship with my body. It was that last pregnancy that shocked not just my body, but my mind and my heart so deeply, that it set me on a different course.

I have not only lost the 70 pounds since my twin pregnancy, but I’ve kept it off. Although I am not a fan of focusing on the number, (in fact I don’t even have a working scale right now and quite like it that way), but those extra 70 pounds on my 5’2″ frame were causing health issues, pain and depression. So yes, my journey to self-love through self-care has involved weight-loss.

I have for so long wanted to bottle my secrets and lessons as best I can to pass them on. To pass them on to a younger me. To pass them on to that girl who didn’t know how to not only be in control of her own body, but truly love and appreciate it. To that new mom that doesn’t even recognize her own body.

What actually has been my secret to not only losing the baby weight, but keeping it off? Well, the secret is years in the making. It’s not just a magic diet, or an intense workout routine, but so much more. It’s so much more that no one ever tells you. But I truly believe, without hesitation, that these tips can help anyone who is struggling with their weight.

Let’s rewind to the beginning, shall we?

The day I came home with my twins.

On the day I came home from the hospital after having my twins, the curiosity was killing me… how much weight had I lost now that two human beings had exited my body? They each weighed 6 pounds, so, I figured, maybe I had lost 12 pounds, or even more because you have to count the amniotic fluid and placentas. I hopped on the scale and was devastated. I had only lost 3 pounds.

I looked down at my massive swollen feet, and the logical side of my brain told me that I was retaining a lot of water and needed to be patient. I had been through this twice before after giving birth to my older kids. But come on, two freaking people, it didn’t seem fair.

As I looked down at my body, I didn’t recognize it. It was bruised and mushy. I had swelled to a weight that I didn’t think my 5’2″ frame was capable of.

I picked myself up and switched my focus to what was most important: caring for my four kids, healing from my C-section and basically surviving our family’s new dynamic.

Year one

The time had come. I was given the go ahead from my doctor to slowly start exercising. This is it. This is the moment I had been waiting for. I had been dreaming about taking my body back since I spent day after day, on my sofa, with a pillow between my knees, growing babies.

At first my progress was slow. Keep in mind I was trying to care for four kids as well as myself. It was so difficult to carve out any “me” time. It wasn’t until I began waking up before anyone in our family each morning to exercise. That’s when everything began to fall into place.

I made time. I stopped waiting for time to find me and I made sure that I carved out time for exercise.

I began to love and appreciate my body. I have struggled with my weight since I was a child. Anytime I would make some strides with my weight-loss and strengthening goals, it came from an angry place where I felt I had to punish my body. Having twins was finally the event that changed the way I looked at my body. It has done incredible things and it was to be celebrated and cared for.

I was focused on my goals. Losing the baby weight was my number one goal. I planned to eat healthy foods, indulge here and there and not beat myself up about it. I also wanted to get in shape again, especially knowing I was finished having children. I would take my time. But this time it was different. I had simple goals that were for me and no one else. I wanted to be strong. I was over hurting my back when I pick up a baby. I want to be flexible. No more pulling my neck while reaching for a pacifier that had fallen under a crib. I wanted to go to my closet and feel good in whatever I put on. No more pulling at waistlines and being limited to leggings.

Year two

Little did I know that I was heading into a one-year weight plateau….

I started to play little mind tricks with myself, like, you’ve got this far, you can take days (or weeks) off of exercise. Or after an exhausting day of building my business, while giving enough attention to my family, I would “reward” myself by gorging on unhealthy, or ridiculous portions.

Every once and a while I would find my rhythm and work at getting a few more pounds off, but despite making “losing the last ten pounds” my number one goal, I would continue to self-sabotage.

Then, at around 17-months postpartum, I made the conscious decision to relax. I embraced my body again, and was proud of how far I had come.

This was also the year that I was starting to hit on something that would again pop up in year five. I realized that I needed to experience more joy and laugh more. But more about that later.

I switched my focus of weight-loss. I stopped making “weight loss” my New Year’s resolution. Maybe having “lose those last ten pounds” as my New Year’s resolution, did more damage than good? Maybe that’s too much pressure, and I was setting myself up to fail?

I rewired my brain. I also started to realize how much I was stress eating and began my journey of rewiring my brain to stop thinking, “you deserve this,” and instead think, “this won’t fix your problem.”

I began to see my body’s purpose and know it’s power. I knew that the war my body had been through was it’s own and couldn’t be compared to other bodies. I had no intentions of erasing my journey, just rehabilitating the body that brought my kids into this world.

Year three

As year three began, I started to feel ready to go after a new goal… strength. But every time I tried to get myself into a rhythm with exercise, or healthier eating habits, I would get in my head again and self sabotage.

I began to dive deeper into reasons why I was self-sabotaging, which ended up going way back to some injuries and illnesses I experienced as a child and I stopped seeing myself as broken, and realized that I was self-sabotaging out of fear.

After this important realization, I told myself “I’m not broken, I’ve just been scared.” It was time to let that fear help propel me forward so that I can reach my goals, drop the excuses, be secure within my success and know that wanting to reach the finish line is not selfish, it’s self-love.

I got help. Sometimes going it alone isn’t enough, and it’s okay to get some help. First I trained with a personal trainer for three months. This taught me that my body was far from frail, or broken and that I can push it farther without fear. I also signed up for a healthy eating program just long enough to help me understand what size portions I should be consuming, and what times of the day I should be eating.

Year four

Last spring, after a quieter winter, life got busy. I lot of exciting projects came my way, I had a lot of travel, both for work and vacations, and the kids schedules were getting busier.

During that excitement I noticed my energy levels lagging, heart palpitations kept coming and I was often light-headed. I kept putting it off and finally I went to see my doctor when it dawned on me that I hadn’t had a physical in over FOUR YEARS!

Whoops!

My blood work came back showing that my iron levels were in the toilet. So I started to take iron supplements and my energy levels came back.

Just as I was starting to feel like myself again, I had another major setback. By the end of August I started having abdominal pains that were different than any IBS symptom I had experienced in the past. But, typical me… I ignored them.

Well, I ignored them until my husband convinced me to go have them checked out. I was immediately sent to the hospital and was diagnosed with Diverticulitis that day.

This for me has been a big wake-up call. I have been making some huge lifestyle changes including being less busy, moving towards a more minimalist life, having laser focus on work, but not trying to do everything and making more time to cook.

I have also been exploring my health on a deeper level. I have been peeling the onion as to why I am having so many digestive issues and struggling with my energy and using food as fuel instead of comfort.

Really knowing and caring for my body. Being more in tune with my body and making sure that it is better cared for has helped me stick to exercise routines. I now know that there is a handful of foods that I just cannot eat because I have food intolerances that cause excruciating pain. I would have never found these answers if I didn’t keep digging deeper and deeper.

Year five

As the fall approached, some tough stuff came our way, which forced both myself and my husband to self reflect and think about what we really want and what is really important. On the top of my list was to find my joy again. To actually experience life instead of surviving, or controlling life.

I have fun. This year I have been choosing joy and choosing me more. This has included getting a puppy and taking up skiing again. I’ve made caring for my body fun and second nature.

Recently I realized was caring so much for a couple people in my family who were stumbling, and I was working so hard to help them find balance and happiness again, that I began to neglect myself. This formula doesn’t work. I’ve begun to put the oxygen mask on myself first, before anyone else in my life.

I am my first priority. I’ve begun a new journey of self discovery and lifestyle improvement that includes everything from a healthy diet and exercise, to meditation, listening to inspiring audiobooks, massage therapy and doing some things for myself that I’ve wanted to do for a while.

It has taken me a long time to get where I am after having my twins. It has taken a lot of perseverance and hard work. But most of all, it has taken a lot of patience and love for myself.

I knew that post-babies would be a new chapter for my body and that I had to learn how to love my new curves, stretch-marks and dimples.

I have come so far and have been through so much. I have recreated who I see myself as, knowing that although I’ve changed some things, that it doesn’t mean that I have lost the best part of me. This change has come from a place of self care and of giving back to my body after everything it has given and created.

Make time. Love and appreciate your body. Focus on your goals. Try to have goals other than just weight loss. Rewire your brain to break bad habits. Get help. Truly know and care for your body. Have fun. Make yourself your first priority.

The truth is, reaching fitness goals and then maintaining a healthy body is a journey. Use these lessons as a roadmap for you to begin yours and whatever you do, don’t stop. Don’t settle. You deserve this.

Success isn’t perfection. Success is allowing days to slow down. Success is allowing a day to feast with your family. Success is to be at peace with those days and getting back on track the next. Success is embracing your health and knowing deep in your core that you deserve to treat your body like a temple. Success is being able to zoom out and see the big picture, see the humans it’s created, the war its been through and the strives you’ve made.

You can continue to follow my health and fitness journey on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube!