four kids

Can I Just Have A Boring Life?

After Ben and I got married in the fall (I’ll share more about that soon), it feels like I’ve been hit by one wave after another. Just when I manage to get my head above water… BOOM, another one comes crashing down.

Now, I’m naturally a glass-half-full kind of girl, so even as I say that late 2024 into 2025 has been tough, I immediately want to balance it with the good. And there has been good: Ben and I bought our dream home, Holden started driving, I finally got a handle on my migraines, and I get to share each day with my soulmate.

But then there are the hits. And these aren’t just little bumps in the road… they’re the kind of life-altering blows that ripple through everything.

In late fall, Beau was diagnosed with a lifelong condition that significantly affects her daily life. It causes chronic headaches and requires ongoing care and monitoring. There have already been two hospital stays and countless appointments with her medical team. Overnight, I became not just her mom, but her caregiver too.

Then this spring, my dad was diagnosed with cancer. While he’s physically doing fairly well, halfway through treatment, one of the medications triggered a severe mental health crisis that threw our entire family into chaos in August. Things have stabilized, but we’re still healing from that trauma, and it’s changed our family forever.

On top of everything else, my own health decided to make itself known. In the fall of 2024 I started having cluster migraines, dizzy spells, and heart palpitations that eventually landed me in the emergency room. After a long battery of tests, I was diagnosed with vasovagal syncope… essentially, my nervous system sometimes overreacts to stress, pain, or certain triggers, causing sudden drops in heart rate and blood pressure that can lead to fainting. As if that weren’t enough, I had two more bouts of diverticulitis over the winter, one of which knocked me flat and ended with me fainting as well. Since then, I’ve made my health a priority. I’ve been more proactive, more disciplined, and I’m looking forward to sharing the changes I’ve made and what’s helping me feel stronger again.

All of this has been layered on top of work changes. Before Beau’s first hospital stay, I stepped into a full-time role as a manager at a large influencer marketing agency. At the time, I was ready to wind down The Water Cooler, running a full-blown company with a team hadn’t been all it was cracked up to be, and I thought the corporate world would give me a chance to just do the work I loved without worrying about “keeping the lights on.” At first, it was great, I thrived coaching influencers and mentoring my team. But the heavy sales focus made me realize it wasn’t the right fit. I couldn’t lean fully into my strategic and creative side. In the end, it was time to step away, take everything I’ve learned, and bring it home to Nesting Story.

And that’s where I am now. I have so much I want to share. I’ve found a new why for Nesting Story. Because I know I’m not the only woman navigating this messy, complicated stage of life… aging, parenting teens, caregiving for our own parents, running a household, co-parenting, trying to take care of ourselves, and keeping our relationships strong.

I want Nesting Story to continue being a place where those conversations happen. Where we talk honestly about the hard stuff, the good stuff, and everything in between. And alongside that, I will be supporting brands and creators,  helping them navigate their online storytelling journey with clarity, confidence, and strategy.

This is a new chapter. It’s not boring. It’s not easy. But it’s real, and it’s ours.

*I always strive to protect my family’s privacy. Any names or details shared here have their blessing.

If you’d like to keep up with me in real time, you can find me over on Instagram, where I share the day-to-day behind the scenes, and I’ll also be creating again on YouTube… something I’ve truly missed. But the most exciting new addition is Patreon, where I’ll be sharing more candidly than I ever have before. That’s where I’ll be opening up about co-parenting, aging, being a caregiver, and so much more… the conversations that don’t always fit neatly on the blog or social, but are such a big part of this chapter of life.

Derailed By Life And What I Am Doing About It

This post is part 2 of a two part series. You can read part one here: Expectations Of the “Default Parent” And The Unrealistic Pressure On Moms Of Kids And Teens

Let’s talk about what being “derailed” looks like for me and what I am going to do about it…

My biggest obstacle lately is life. That sounds sooo dramatic, but it’s true.

I will be going along, eating well, exercising, having a put together house, filling all the emotional cups, excelling in my career and then life comes a knocking… a kid sick, or especially since the pandemic… an anxious kid, an unavoidable social commitment, or a repair needing to be done.

I rarely crumble under the pressure of life and I have become better at saying no and grasping that as a solo mom my available time is pretty much cut in half. I will be trying soooo hard to do everything well that although I mentally am handling it, my body says, “nice try lady… here’s a migraine” or “here’s a SIBO flare up.”

Then all of sudden I am physically taken out of the game so to speak.

I need to clear my schedule, or put off chores, or eat whatever my body can handle, or skip the next few days of exercise and move into survival mode.

Wasn’t I done survival mode once my kids got a little older? Apparently not.

Recently I took a step back to look at the big picture and accepted that this is life, or at least my life and I cannot just eliminate stress or how my body processes it. But I need to learn how to manage it more than I have been, so I have started doing some things to create a net to catch me, a fail-safe.

Now before I get into all of these solutions, I want to be real for a minute. I started this post weeks ago and am now finishing it in the midst of a big derailment thanks to unavoidable social commitments (way too many in a row for this introvert) and a season of my kids fighting more than usual. I am currently on day four (which typing it out feels so small, but living it feels like a lifetime) of survival mode and today I am slowly climbing my way out of it and putting these solutions in place.

Food

I am going to say this and really hear me out… meal plan and batch cook on weekends if possible. This for me is massive. Due to picky eaters and my sensitive gut, I cannot always be eating the same dinners as my kids, so typically on Sunday I will batch cook 3-4 meals for myself a week. I make sure they are really healthy and satisfying.

Lately that has been fish, steamed spinach, quinoa, another steamed or roasted green vegetable and roasted sweet potato. You have no idea how much I thank “Sunday-me” when I am totally spent and not only have a meal ready for me and not extra dishes, but it’s healthy and keeps me on track with my clean eating which in turn prevents SIBO flare ups.

Exercise

I tend to be an all or nothing kind of person. I have been my whole life. So I am constantly fighting against that urge. That’s exercise for me. I will go hard and daily and then get derailed and take big breaks. This wasn’t working. So lately I have been making specific goals each week and focusing on a minimum of 3 good workouts with some kind of movement most other days.

When I reach my luteal phase I switch it up to walks and yoga. And on days when I physically cannot workout because I am beyond spent or am dealing with a migraine or SIBO Flare up, I am kind to myself and take a break. But then I get back to it as soon as I am well again.

Living with Migraines

The older I get, the more consistent my migraines are. I am finally learning to live with them. I know my triggers… stress, heat, wine (during certain times of the month), over-doing upper body exercise without stretching before and after and laying down to rest too much. I my friends, am a delicate flower.

But really understanding my many triggers has helped me a lot to prevent full-blown migraines. I stay in-tune with my body as much as possible and that is half the battle. But here’s what I do to minimize, or heal them:

  • Take 2 Advil Migraine pills before I get one but when I know I am vulnerable
  • Eat nuts, especially almonds
  • Put an ice pack on my neck and a heating pad on my hips
  • Move. It is so tempting to lay down but that is the worst thing I can do for it
  • Drink lots of water
  • Avoid alcohol
  • Drink coffee
  • Eat complex carbs and avoid refined sugar
  • Put Voltaren Extra Strength on my neck and shoulders and repeat as needed
  • Stretch

Lastly is keeping a clean house. Here is my advice to you about this one. Your house will ebb and flow. Do what you can when you can. Also, purge your stuff and give everything a home. I am constantly purging and rarely buy anything new.

Life will happen. Focus on what’s in your control and in the meantime, be KIND to you yourself.

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How Are You? You’ve Been On My Mind.

I’ve been getting a lot of texts and messages from friends lately asking me how I am. You see, where I live in Southern Ontario my kids have been moved from in-person to virtual school and as of yesterday my province went into a Stay-At-Home order, complete with a loud, unexpected and jarring Emergency Alert on my phone from the government yesterday.

It’s meant a lot, people checking in. It has taken me a second to realize that people are thinking of me because of my circumstance, a solo parent with four kids. It’s not like I have been having any kind of public meltdown on social media to worry them.

So, I asked myself…. how am I? I am writing this post on Friday January 15th. Today I am good. I feel solid. I have created a routine, lowered my own expectations and have been loading on self-care. But on Tuesday January 5th I was not okay. I was totally overwhelmed.

So I began waking up super early to fit even more into my day.

Parents, doesn’t it feel like we are being asked to be superhuman? We are asking to be spread thinner and thinner. I’m like a very dry piece of toast right now.

All of those statistics of women having to take a step back in their careers is really becoming a reality for me. But as a solo parent I cannot just stop. I also can’t drop my self-care (workouts, hot baths, pulling myself together) because I tried that one and had zero patience for anyone.

I can’t just leave my kids to do school completely solo… tried that one too and I quickly realized that two six-year-olds need me right at their side during virtual school. Luckily they have an extremely understanding teacher who lets them take lots of breaks and knows I am helping them get through the work and take big steps away from their screens while the teacher spends most of her time walking half the class through the technology because the reality is, most parents do not have the job flexibility I do to sit their with their child.

What about my two big kids? They have totally amazed me with how engaged and self sufficient they are the entire day with their online school. In fact, I basically don’t see them all day. BUT, the evening comes and they both spiral. The screen time, isolation and being cut off from their friends rears its ugly head and they need me. All of me. This one by the way is next week’s problem to solve… I’m thinking after school outdoor walks reading after dinner and early bedtime routines with more structure. This one will definitely come with pushback from my two pre-teens. But I’m the parent and they need this.

These are just the biggest things, the balls I am juggling that are made of glass. That cannot break. There are 50 other balls that are in the air. Some others are glass, most are plastic.

I am juggling, constantly.

Right now I’d say I’m swimming. Not drowning, not just trying to keep my head above water, or even treading water.

I am swimming.

Don’t get me wrong, I have my hell zone moments everyday. You know, those moments where you are going along fairly well and BOOM… you’re hit with this strong feeling of depression and it all washes over you…

When was the last time I was able to hug my parents? Will we get sick? I miss going out. I miss my friends. I’m worried about my kids. Will this isolation impact them long-term? If I get in a car accident can my local hospital take care of me properly, or is it too overwhelmed? Will my friends that own brick and mortar businesses lose everything? I feel claustrophobic.

Those moments.

Luckily something I learned from the first wave is that these hell zone moments are common for a lot of people and they are just that, moments. In those moments I acknowledge my feelings, I validate them and remind myself that these are big, real, normal feelings.

I don’t fight it.

I let the wave wash over me. Then if I can I step away from whatever I’m doing and switch it up. The moment moves on and I begin swimming again.

After talking to my friends, (funny enough the ones who have been checking in on me), I’ve realized just how good I have it. I have friends whose houses are mid-renovation and they are trying to do virtual school with the constant sound of a nail gun in the background.

I have friends who are full-on extroverts (I am not. I am an ambivert and homebody) and they are not built for this. They are not able to spread their wings right now and I cannot imagine what that must feel like.

So, how am I?

Today I am swimming.

How are you?

Health and Wellness for My Entire Family – How I Don’t Get Left Behind

This post was created in partnership with GSK.

When I became a mom of four, life always felt like I was going a million miles a minute. I tried to carve out time for myself here and there, but I sometimes thought that the days of feeling really healthy and fit might be behind me.

Today I am healthier now than I have ever been in my life. It’s pretty wild to think that after having four kids and at age 37 I have really found balance when it comes to leading a healthy lifestyle, getting daily exercise and really nailing the healthy eating habits thing.

I must say, I am pretty proud of myself.

I have always had a fairly healthy lifestyle, but after struggling for years with digestive issues, it became really obvious that I needed to make it a constant focus daily. Adapting intuitive eating habits partnered with focusing on nutrition-packed food for fuel… it was like everything fell into place.

When it comes to exercise, that too has fallen into place … finally! 

I was never a joiner and definitely had zero interest in any team sports. I would exercise here and there, but it never really became something that I’d look forward to or set goals towards. 

Last fall I tried CrossFit, (something I thought I’d never do because it looked too intense), but it has not only been the perfect fit for me in terms of pure joy when working out, but I have also joined a fitness community and conquered my social anxiety surrounding fitness.

To have these two extremely important wellness pieces fall into place while parenting four kids, running my own business and balancing it all during a time in the world that is already chaotic is a feat in itself is kind of amazing.

What is my secret? Drop the perfection and put my own and my kids’ health and mental health before everything else, as well as having organization in place so that there is space for wellness and selfcare.

Keeping my kids’ wellness front of mind and organized has been a system I have developed over the years and seems to really work. We have “expectation guidelines” pasted to our fridge. This includes everything from manners and daily personal hygiene to how we treat each other as a family. I have also split yearly wellness check-ups into seasons. Late winter is eye check-ups, late spring is yearly physicals and the fall is the dentist followed by vaccinations for flu and a check of when other vaccinations may be needed for myself or the kids in the coming year. 

Which brings it back to me. While taking care of everyone else, us adults can tend to fall through the cracks. This includes our own wellness check-ups and adult vaccinations, because they are not just for our kids, so talk to your doctor about what might be recommended. For more information on what vaccinations may be right for you at what age and for a customizable vaccination tracker, visit vaccinateforlife.ca.

Because here’s the thing… in a world where we’ve felt like things have been shaken up a lot, life’s real priorities have floated to the surface. Forget the material things or the superficial life before 2020, what really matters most is our mental health, our physical health and the deep connection we have with the people in our life.  

Take good care of yourself.

Disclosure: This post was sponsored by GSK. While compensation was provided, all opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not necessarily indicative of the opinions of GSK. This post will not be monitored by GSK. If you need to report an adverse event for any GSK product, please call 1-800-387-7374.

Our Family Almost Didn’t Make It To Summer Break

We just crawled to the finish line. Our last month before summer break was a doozy! We had such a healthy year and then crashed and burned in June. On top of our family having one illness after another, we were forced to face some big time parenting problem solving.

Having four kids… you can always expect a wobbly plate. You focus on that kid and get them sorted, then triage the family and move onto the next wobbly plate and so on. Well, somehow, some way we had four wobbly plates for an entire month before summer break.

It was so draining for me mentally and emotionally that it began to have a physical affect on my body. Phew. Despite the stress we pushed through and I am happy to say we have restored the peace in our home in time for the summer break. Watch as I share our journey and then implemented a system that helped us changed the narrative in our home and created a positive atmosphere…

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