stress

Can I Just Have A Boring Life?

After Ben and I got married in the fall (I’ll share more about that soon), it feels like I’ve been hit by one wave after another. Just when I manage to get my head above water… BOOM, another one comes crashing down.

Now, I’m naturally a glass-half-full kind of girl, so even as I say that late 2024 into 2025 has been tough, I immediately want to balance it with the good. And there has been good: Ben and I bought our dream home, Holden started driving, I finally got a handle on my migraines, and I get to share each day with my soulmate.

But then there are the hits. And these aren’t just little bumps in the road… they’re the kind of life-altering blows that ripple through everything.

In late fall, Beau was diagnosed with a lifelong condition that significantly affects her daily life. It causes chronic headaches and requires ongoing care and monitoring. There have already been two hospital stays and countless appointments with her medical team. Overnight, I became not just her mom, but her caregiver too.

Then this spring, my dad was diagnosed with cancer. While he’s physically doing fairly well, halfway through treatment, one of the medications triggered a severe mental health crisis that threw our entire family into chaos in August. Things have stabilized, but we’re still healing from that trauma, and it’s changed our family forever.

On top of everything else, my own health decided to make itself known. In the fall of 2024 I started having cluster migraines, dizzy spells, and heart palpitations that eventually landed me in the emergency room. After a long battery of tests, I was diagnosed with vasovagal syncope… essentially, my nervous system sometimes overreacts to stress, pain, or certain triggers, causing sudden drops in heart rate and blood pressure that can lead to fainting. As if that weren’t enough, I had two more bouts of diverticulitis over the winter, one of which knocked me flat and ended with me fainting as well. Since then, I’ve made my health a priority. I’ve been more proactive, more disciplined, and I’m looking forward to sharing the changes I’ve made and what’s helping me feel stronger again.

All of this has been layered on top of work changes. Before Beau’s first hospital stay, I stepped into a full-time role as a manager at a large influencer marketing agency. At the time, I was ready to wind down The Water Cooler, running a full-blown company with a team hadn’t been all it was cracked up to be, and I thought the corporate world would give me a chance to just do the work I loved without worrying about “keeping the lights on.” At first, it was great, I thrived coaching influencers and mentoring my team. But the heavy sales focus made me realize it wasn’t the right fit. I couldn’t lean fully into my strategic and creative side. In the end, it was time to step away, take everything I’ve learned, and bring it home to Nesting Story.

And that’s where I am now. I have so much I want to share. I’ve found a new why for Nesting Story. Because I know I’m not the only woman navigating this messy, complicated stage of life… aging, parenting teens, caregiving for our own parents, running a household, co-parenting, trying to take care of ourselves, and keeping our relationships strong.

I want Nesting Story to continue being a place where those conversations happen. Where we talk honestly about the hard stuff, the good stuff, and everything in between. And alongside that, I will be supporting brands and creators,  helping them navigate their online storytelling journey with clarity, confidence, and strategy.

This is a new chapter. It’s not boring. It’s not easy. But it’s real, and it’s ours.

*I always strive to protect my family’s privacy. Any names or details shared here have their blessing.

If you’d like to keep up with me in real time, you can find me over on Instagram, where I share the day-to-day behind the scenes, and I’ll also be creating again on YouTube… something I’ve truly missed. But the most exciting new addition is Patreon, where I’ll be sharing more candidly than I ever have before. That’s where I’ll be opening up about co-parenting, aging, being a caregiver, and so much more… the conversations that don’t always fit neatly on the blog or social, but are such a big part of this chapter of life.

Derailed By Life And What I Am Doing About It

This post is part 2 of a two part series. You can read part one here: Expectations Of the “Default Parent” And The Unrealistic Pressure On Moms Of Kids And Teens

Let’s talk about what being “derailed” looks like for me and what I am going to do about it…

My biggest obstacle lately is life. That sounds sooo dramatic, but it’s true.

I will be going along, eating well, exercising, having a put together house, filling all the emotional cups, excelling in my career and then life comes a knocking… a kid sick, or especially since the pandemic… an anxious kid, an unavoidable social commitment, or a repair needing to be done.

I rarely crumble under the pressure of life and I have become better at saying no and grasping that as a solo mom my available time is pretty much cut in half. I will be trying soooo hard to do everything well that although I mentally am handling it, my body says, “nice try lady… here’s a migraine” or “here’s a SIBO flare up.”

Then all of sudden I am physically taken out of the game so to speak.

I need to clear my schedule, or put off chores, or eat whatever my body can handle, or skip the next few days of exercise and move into survival mode.

Wasn’t I done survival mode once my kids got a little older? Apparently not.

Recently I took a step back to look at the big picture and accepted that this is life, or at least my life and I cannot just eliminate stress or how my body processes it. But I need to learn how to manage it more than I have been, so I have started doing some things to create a net to catch me, a fail-safe.

Now before I get into all of these solutions, I want to be real for a minute. I started this post weeks ago and am now finishing it in the midst of a big derailment thanks to unavoidable social commitments (way too many in a row for this introvert) and a season of my kids fighting more than usual. I am currently on day four (which typing it out feels so small, but living it feels like a lifetime) of survival mode and today I am slowly climbing my way out of it and putting these solutions in place.

Food

I am going to say this and really hear me out… meal plan and batch cook on weekends if possible. This for me is massive. Due to picky eaters and my sensitive gut, I cannot always be eating the same dinners as my kids, so typically on Sunday I will batch cook 3-4 meals for myself a week. I make sure they are really healthy and satisfying.

Lately that has been fish, steamed spinach, quinoa, another steamed or roasted green vegetable and roasted sweet potato. You have no idea how much I thank “Sunday-me” when I am totally spent and not only have a meal ready for me and not extra dishes, but it’s healthy and keeps me on track with my clean eating which in turn prevents SIBO flare ups.

Exercise

I tend to be an all or nothing kind of person. I have been my whole life. So I am constantly fighting against that urge. That’s exercise for me. I will go hard and daily and then get derailed and take big breaks. This wasn’t working. So lately I have been making specific goals each week and focusing on a minimum of 3 good workouts with some kind of movement most other days.

When I reach my luteal phase I switch it up to walks and yoga. And on days when I physically cannot workout because I am beyond spent or am dealing with a migraine or SIBO Flare up, I am kind to myself and take a break. But then I get back to it as soon as I am well again.

Living with Migraines

The older I get, the more consistent my migraines are. I am finally learning to live with them. I know my triggers… stress, heat, wine (during certain times of the month), over-doing upper body exercise without stretching before and after and laying down to rest too much. I my friends, am a delicate flower.

But really understanding my many triggers has helped me a lot to prevent full-blown migraines. I stay in-tune with my body as much as possible and that is half the battle. But here’s what I do to minimize, or heal them:

  • Take 2 Advil Migraine pills before I get one but when I know I am vulnerable
  • Eat nuts, especially almonds
  • Put an ice pack on my neck and a heating pad on my hips
  • Move. It is so tempting to lay down but that is the worst thing I can do for it
  • Drink lots of water
  • Avoid alcohol
  • Drink coffee
  • Eat complex carbs and avoid refined sugar
  • Put Voltaren Extra Strength on my neck and shoulders and repeat as needed
  • Stretch

Lastly is keeping a clean house. Here is my advice to you about this one. Your house will ebb and flow. Do what you can when you can. Also, purge your stuff and give everything a home. I am constantly purging and rarely buy anything new.

Life will happen. Focus on what’s in your control and in the meantime, be KIND to you yourself.

Don’t forget to follow Nesting Story on Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube.

Hang In There Mamas… Christmas Is Almost Here

We are so close to Christmas mamas! 

Just a little reminder… if your kids are all hyped up and having extra meltdowns and are fighting with each other more than usual, that’s totally normal leading up to Christmas (and Halloween and birthdays).

It took me a few years of parenting to see this pattern, but once I did and realized most kids get like this leading up to an exciting holiday or event I totally relaxed.. and popped in my AirPods and poured myself a glass of wine. 

We’ve got this, hang in there! 

Are you doing anything for you?

Over the holidays you are going to be giving a lot of yourself! You don’t have to burn out. Remember to carve out time for you, and in turn everyone around you will get a better version of you!

Have you been following along on my CrossFit journey on Instagram? I have been sharing my new life-changing fitness journey and how much it has impacted all aspects of my life.

I encourage you to make time to do something for yourself in 2020, because you will never just find time.

You deserve it!

You can follow my journey on Instagram, YouTube, Facebook and Pinterest!

I was chronically busy and it had to stop

busy mom

“How are you?” a friend asked me at a conference a couple weeks ago. I could feel an inner push and pull as to how to answer this question. I had just checked into the hotel and was crossing the threshold from frantically getting deadlines done, making lunches, breaking up my kids’ fights, and keeping my home afloat, to two days away, to take a minute, reflect and reassess.

“Truthfully,” I started, “I’m burnt out.” I immediately felt guilt bubble up inside of me, scolding me for complaining about life, when I had it so good on paper. My business was booming, my kids were healthy and doing well in school, my marriage was solid and my house was in the midst of getting much needed upgrades and renovations.

But then if you scraped just below the surface, you’d see that my work was so busy that I was neglecting myself and my kids, leaving my body feeling tired and out of sorts, and my kids edgy and vying for my attention. Although date night was keeping my marriage copacetic, Mike and I have been craving more day to day free time to play with our kids and be intimate with each other.

And then there’s our house, oh our house… every room told a story. Whether it was my dining room table, unrecognizable under the boxes of products, random fall and Christmas decor scattered throughout leftover from hosting and filming videos, or my seven-year-old daughter’s room, so messy it was begging for little critters to find it, each room was screaming “I NEED ATTENTION.”

As I continued answering my friend’s harmless question, I heard myself robotically say, “works crazy, and life is a bit off balance, but that’s a good problem, right?” a nervous giggle followed.

“Not always,” she replied.

As I sat in on inspiring panels, and delighted in a mid-afternoon nap, (which only happens when I am away at conferences), it became clear what I had to do going home.

I had to fight for balance.

Balance, less stress, less frantic, how ever you want to put it, wasn’t going to walk up to me one day and say, I’m here! No, it was up to me to fiercely fight for time and to create a life which is less busy, but more manageable and healthy.

So, how am I going to fight for what I so desperately need?

I am going to say no.

I have a lot on my plate between now and Christmas. Social gatherings and work commitments and piling on top of each other. Now, it’s one thing to properly tackle what you have committed to. It’s another thing to close the flood gates and say, “I’m at capacity.”

I am going to drop perfection.

I can tend to have this personality that is very all or nothing. As a kid and teenager it made me tip into the “I don’t care” category, leaving me failing classes and skipping school. But as an adult, it’s tipped the other way. Perfection with work, neglect with myself and home. I will leave a little on the table when it comes to work. Know that I am putting my heart into everything, but quitting the second guessing and the tinkering and just get on with it.

I will make plans.

We’ve booked a BIG vacation. I will document it all, don’t you worry. But what this has done has created a hard end date to my busy schedule. I will take time off a hit the reset button coming back.

I will stop wasting time.

I know, I was squeezing them lemon pretty hard. But guess what? I have been setting my alarm pretty early each morning and doing a pathetic workout and playing on my phone. But today was different. I went to a 6am fitness class where I was held accountable and phones were not allowed. I plan to go to these classes every weekday.

I will stick to my work hours.

Although I may have to still do some work on the weekends due to the nature of the projects I am working on, I will stop working after my kids get home from school and shift into mom-mode. Even if I am not entertaining them, (which isn’t my job), I can be a listening ear while prepping a healthy dinner, making lunches, or tidying up. Actually my kids seem happiest when I am occupied with mom tasks instead of sitting at my desk, shut away in my office.

It’s been a week now since pledging these changes to myself amidst this busy season, and I am happy to report that the “frantic” is gone. Life feels more manageable. I will never get it 100%, but who does? What matters is a calm has come over me and my family. We have slowed down. That burnt out feeling has dissipated.

I am fighting for balance.

 

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Week two of school and the honeymoon is over

Hiding from my kids

Yesterday at 6pm I had enough. I had a decision to make, either I let the tears come, as I felt them bubble to the surface, hot behind my eyes, or I just walk away and hide from my family.

I chose to walk away.

I put down the cooked chicken I was cradling in my hands, turned and walked out of my kitchen, away from my family. I was careful to be soft on my feet as I went upstairs, so that it was clear that I wasn’t angry at my kids or my husband, I just needed a minute. I walked along my hall ignoring toys scattered around me, through my bedroom, past the laundry basket of my clean clothes that I hadn’t had time to put away and straight into my bathroom, locking the door behind me.

I gathered up some towels, making a comfy-enough nest on the ground and collapsed into the quietness.

About twenty minutes later, after some much-needed, mindless scrolling through my phone and realized that my towel nest wasn’t protecting my sensitive (birthed four kids and twins) hips from the cold tile floor very well. So I hoisted myself up and went back downstairs determined to make it through the school night.

What had led up to this point?

It was a combination of things… our dog escaping and running down the street before taking our kids to school, meltdown after meltdown from our twins after school, the many forms that I had to fill out which seemed to be coming home daily, the lunches to make, the kids to dress, the playdates to organize, the evening chats about friends, the bedtimes…

On top of it all I was now juggling less work hours during the day with more deadlines than ever flowing in.

But, it was the chicken that was my tipping point. Remember the chicken?

Earlier that day I had ignored my messy house around me and proudly stared at our rare, empty sink without even one dirty dish in it. I had decided to go pick up a pre-made chicken from the grocery store to avoid new dirty dishes. Well, because it was earlier in the day, I had to refrigerate the cooked chicken, and when Mike arrived home, and I was completely spent, he made a comment about me refrigerating it, which to him wasn’t ideal.

Ughhhh…. I was done.

I am writing this the next day, a new day. Although I still feel spread too thin, and I am bracing for the after school chaos, I am determined to figure out our new normal. I know that this is the hard part, and we have to figure out how we can swing this and what our rhythm will be. But I know we will get there.

So if you are in the second week of school trenches with me, hang in the mama, and don’t forget, it is okay to take a few quiet minutes for yourself.