family

Co-Parenting at Christmas: How We Make It Work (and Actually Enjoy It)

Co-parenting at Christmas can feel like a puzzle… one with a lot of emotions, logistics, and moving pieces. Between Ben and I, we have five kids, and over the years we’ve learned that the holidays can be both beautiful and complicated. Today, I wanted to share how we divide the Christmas break, what’s worked for us, what hasn’t, and the mindset shifts that have helped everyone (kids and parents) feel grounded.

How We Divide Christmas Break

We split the school Christmas break right down the middle, and take turns each year on who gets the first week vs. the second. It’s simple, predictable, and helps everyone plan.

Pros:

  • The kids get double the magic: gifts, meals, traditions, and attention.
  • Ben and I get rare, extended time alone over the holidays, which has honestly helped us reconnect, reset, and start the new year grounded together.
  • It gives the kids space to fully enjoy both homes without pressure.

Cons:

  • It’s a busy couple of weeks for everyone.
  • There’s more travel than the kids sometimes want.
  • And for parents, especially at first, the quiet house can feel really heavy. Missing your kids on big days is normal, and it takes time to adjust.

How We Approach Christmas Itself

Our system is simple and has worked beautifully:

  • One parent has Christmas Eve and Christmas morning until around 10 a.m.
  • Then the kids head to the other house for Christmas morning round two and Christmas dinner.
  • My kids’ dad’s family also celebrates on Boxing Day, and no matter how we split the week, I like to have the kids back there for that… it’s important to them, and to us.
  • New Year’s is flexible and usually goes to whoever has that week, but we adjust if someone wants to do something special.

We coordinate Christmas lists to avoid overlap, and we keep expectations loose and kid-focused. We do have a co-parenting agreement, but honestly? We mostly lead with intuition, flexibility, and communication.

We’re extremely lucky… all four parents made the conscious decision to put personal feelings aside and prioritize the kids, and that has made all the difference.

Supporting Kids Through Holiday Transitions

Even when everything is functioning well, Christmas can be emotionally overwhelming for kids. Some things that help:

  • Prep them early. Let them know the schedule ahead of time.
  • Keep transitions calm and predictable. Rushed hand-offs can heighten emotion.
  • Validate their feelings. Excited, sad, tired, overstimulated… it’s all real.
  • Anchor them with small rituals. Hot chocolate after drop-off, reading a favourite book, or a cozy movie night.
  • Don’t overschedule. Protect downtime so they can decompress.

Supporting Yourself Through It

If you’re newly navigating co-parenting at Christmas, please hear this: it’s okay to feel sad. It’s okay to feel all the things.

A few things that help:

  • Create new traditions. Something that belongs to you and your home.
  • Plan a small project. A room refresh, deep clean, or organizing task you want to do.
  • But don’t pressure yourself. If you’re depleted, rest.
  • Build in joy. Coffee dates with friends, a new book, a long bath, a walk with a podcast.
  • Do something fun and out of the ordinary. This year, Ben and I are going to puppy yoga while the kids are away… a date that is pure serotonin.

Co-parenting at Christmas isn’t always easy, but with flexibility, communication, and a kid-first mindset, it can be beautiful. Our blended family is proof.

If you want to hear the more personal side… what my first Christmas split was really like and how much my mindset has changed… I shared the full story on Patreon.

Our Hauntingly Romantic Wedding: A Love Story We Never Expected

Ben and I never expected to find our soulmates. In fact, neither of us thought we’d get married again. But within weeks of our very first date, we both knew. Marriage wasn’t a maybe anymore… it was inevitable. The Universe seemed to confirm it over and over again, with little moments that felt like magic: perfectly timed lightning and even fireworks on some of our earliest dates.

And here’s what has never been lost on me… Ben wasn’t just marrying me. He was stepping into the role of step-dad to my four kids. Add his kiddo to the mix, and suddenly he became the most incredible dad of five. That takes a special kind of love, commitment, and heart.

We’re both at a stage in life where we didn’t want (or need) a traditional wedding. Been there, done that. What we wanted was something that felt like us. Intimate, joyful, and meaningful. So we decided on 30 of our closest friends and family: our kids, our nieces and nephews, and our siblings and parents… all gathered at home with good food and good music.

We chose October 12th, Canadian Thanksgiving weekend. Partly because we dreamed of a fall wedding, and partly because so much of our family was flying in from across Canada: Nova Scotia, Manitoba, and Saskatchewan. We rolled the dice on an outdoor ceremony, no tent rental, and promised ourselves we’d say screw it, rain or shine. As it turned out, the weather was perfect.

The day began at home. While the kids and Ben got ready, I sat in Beau’s room, (who was also my maid of honour), with my makeup artist and stylist. It was calm, but buzzing with anticipation. Once we were dressed, we took photos with the kids, then Ben and I snuck away. We hopped into his Jeep and drove to the ceremony holding hands… maybe our favourite part of the entire day. It was the first time we were truly alone, and it felt so grounding, like the deep breath before the moment we’d been waiting for.

When we arrived, our guests were already gathered. Our singer, Courtney, was playing, and there was no formality, no stiff schedule. When it felt right, we started. My sister-in-law officiated, which was so special, and even remarked during the ceremony about how lit up Ben and I looked, just staring at each other. It was everything we wanted… simple, real, and full of love.

And then, as if the Universe wanted to remind us yet again, a massive Lancaster plane flew right over our heads as we kissed. Our guests thought it was planned. It wasn’t. Just one more nod that we were exactly where we were supposed to be.

After the ceremony, we all headed back to our house. The caterers had set up, the open bar was flowing, and our playlist (built during months of Saturday nights dancing in our kitchen) carried through the air. There were no speeches, no formal dances, just laughter, stories, food, music, and love. Our kids and all of their cousins ran wild on the trampoline, plates full of food, giggling until the night wore out.

One of my favourite moments came at the end of the evening when our makeup artist (who doubled as our nanny that day) pulled me aside. She told me she had been to countless weddings, but she had never seen a bride and groom so connected. She noticed how, in every pocket of busyness, Ben and I kept finding each other… reaching out to hold each other, catching each other’s eyes. That observation felt like the truest reflection of our day.

It wasn’t about putting on a show. It was about love, connection, and creating a celebration that was exactly what we wanted.

This was our wedding day. And next week, I’ll be sharing all the details: from the vendors who helped us bring it to life, to the DIY touches that made it personal. Stay tuned for Part Two.

Follow along with me on Instagram, YouTube, Patreon, Facebook, TikTok, X, LinkedIn, and Pinterest for more stories, behind-the-scenes, and inspiration.

The Page Has Been Turned.

I never, ever, ever thought I would be here. Writing about this topic.

Seperation. Divorce.

But here I am.

The thing is, this has been my reality for about a year. I’ve had time to digest what my new life looks and feels like, and heal my pain, plan for the future and discover who I am now.

I’ve learned that sharing this news with others has a huge impact.

I’ve lived it.

I’ve processed it for a long time.

I’ve watched the faces of family members and close friends as I told them. I’ve watched as jaws have dropped or tightened, tears have fallen, and hands have gripped the arms of chairs.

I’ve heard how many of those close to me have lost a lot of sleep over this news.

I’ve had therapy, lots and lots of therapy. I’ve healed.

This kind of change impacts those around me. Both in person and my online community.

In the beginning I took care of other people moving through this too. I consoled them. But I ultimately realized that I can’t keep giving my precious energy away so easily when my kids and I so badly need that scarce commodity.

So I took the time. The time we needed.

Now I can share.

I can share the pain.

I can share the beauty. Yes, a lot of this story is about the beauty that popped up in the most unexpected ways during this season of life.

I have felt emotional pain that was 1000 times worse than childbirth during this ending. I have watched the world around me burn and have questioned my own reality.

But I rose from the ashes. I fought through it and emerged stronger than ever.

Here’s thing… since making the decision, I am GOOD.

I am thriving.

I know, how is that even possible, right? But it’s the truth. I have consumed so many articles, and movies, and podcasts, and songs, and TV series about divorce and break-ups.

Although I have related to SO MANY elements of these stories, there were two things that stood out to me as very different than mine, and not often shared.

First, I am SURE about this new chapter. I am okay.

Second, it doesn’t have to go toxic. We wouldn’t allow it. Kindness, compassion and my four kids were kept in the forefront. Maybe Gwenyth was right with the whole “conscious uncoupling” thing. Who knew!

I am thankful that I took that year to privately move through that season of life with my family and close friends before sharing about it with my online community. My kids and I took the time to heal, find ourselves, grow and become more resilient than ever.

The page has been turned. My next chapter has begun. It is bright, and exciting, and full of life.

So, so many of you have reached out to me since I began sharing about this journey in the spring. I am planning on sharing more here and there about my personal growth through this experience, while keeping my family’s privacy. So, stay tuned and be sure to follow me on Instagram to stay updated.

Twins in Kindergarten – Same Class or Different Classes?

I never expected to be a mother to twins. Twin boys even less so. Yes, they run in my family. But after two singleton pregnancies, it had fallen off of my radar.

Finding out we were expecting twins after two singleton pregnancies

Twins seemed to amplify everything – pregnancy became high risk, followed by a scary hospital stay and preterm delivery. Caring for premature twins – the first year we were followed so closely by a medical team, everything was much more medicalized and full of questions and protocol. It wasn’t until their 4th birthday, when we were officially discharged, that we started to feel like we “got through it”, the hardest part was over.

Except that it isn’t really over. Old challenges appear to be continually replaced by new ones. And one of those new ones came in the form of Kindergarten Registration.

kindergarten registration decision for twins, same class or different class?

Like most parents, I had done my research. I spent time researching area-schools, even reaching out and asking questions. At the end of it all, they had one question for me – “same class or different classes?” that left me thinking.

If you happen to be trying to make a similar decision, here are 4 things that dictated our decision-making…

1. Independent or Dependent?

That unique connection shared by twins can create an extra level of support in the classroom enviable by most. But, if this sibling support prevents our kids from being able to navigate their day at school independently or prevents our kids from establishing peer relationships with children other than their sibling, we may want to rethink it.

2. Sibling Rivalry

In this age of parenting we are slowly reintroducing the idea of “friendly competition”. We know that our kids have their own unique set of strengths – but it’s oh so easy to keep comparing our twins. Even more, how do we navigate this as they begin to notice disparities between themselves? Do they raise each other up or fight for the top? If one twin seems to always be struggling to keep up with the other, it may be worth looking into separating them.

3. For Your Convenience

Think about your family dynamic for a second. It’s not hard to find families with two working parents, siblings to think about, meals to plan and extracurriculars to attend. Making ourselves available to have the relationship with our kids school that we want to have – sometimes the convenience of having one teacher, with one newsletter and one set of field trip dates to keep track of, is enough of a win to keep your twins together.

4. Extraneous Circumstances

Sometimes it’s not about what is happening inside the classroom at all. If they are going through any kind of transition – like moving to a new home, navigating divorce, experiencing grief/loss – then it may be worth thinking about whether or not having them undergo the stress of being separated as a necessary one.

We’ve ultimately decided to keep our twins together for their kindergarten year. But this decision, but that’s just what will work best for our family this year. We’ve transitioned to a new city, and as our boys attended the same preschool class, it was clear that their interests couldn’t be more different, resulting in different peer groups for the two.

Still not sure? The way our kids act at home isn’t necessarily how they are going to act at school. Do they attend daycare or preschool? Speak to someone who has supervised them in an unparented capacity, they will have some good insights into how they will behave in a classroom setting.

Keep an open mind and speak up, having open and ongoing communication with your school and kindergarten classroom teacher will ultimately be the best approach. Know that your decision doesn’t have to be the ultimate one. Decisions CAN change and so will your kids – what works this year may not work for next year.

A pro/con list will always be my favourite pathway towards a decision. Sit down with your thoughts and maybe take a deep breath or two, as the next challenge waits for us just around the corner.

Twin boys on their first day of kindergarten

Lindsay Fricker is a mom of four – two plus twins. Kindergarten teacher by day, Lindsay enjoys helping others find ways to navigate the ugly parts of parenting, while keeping their sanity and positively supporting their children. You can read more from Lindsay here or follow her on Instagram @serendipity.six.

Twins… what was I getting into?

Me: “Is everything okay in there?”

Ultrasound Technician “Yes, everything is okay… times two.”

Me: “Ummm, excuse me.”

Yes, this is how my twin journey began. It was quite a surprise and one I will never forget. I realize all twin/multiples pregnancies begin their journey in many different ways and each and every one are truly unique, but mine was the classic Hollywood portrayal of stunned parents-to-be who at 12-weeks-pregnant have just found out that they are expecting not one but two babies.

Fast forward to the end of my pregnancy and I had NO idea how I was going to handle taking care of two babies at the same time. See, I was not a rookie mom, a few years earlier I had given birth to a daughter who was the star of our lives, but also demanded a lot of our attention. To be honest I wasn’t even sure if we could have handled bringing another baby into our family without losing our minds. I felt like I was still emerging from the new mom fog and I am ashamed to admit it but I may have googled “how to know if you should have another baby” one too many times. Alas, when we finally decided to give it a shot it didn’t even cross my mind that it could be a double shot.

From a mom of one to expecting two babies, dealing with a twin surprise by Fallon Melander and Nesting Story

So you can imagine how unprepared I felt. From things like strollers, car seats, bassinets and high chairs we needed to either buy new items or in the case of my car we had to upgrade to something larger that would fit three car seats safely. The economic impact alone of having two babies at once was a hard pill to swallow, and still is. But I can tell you the emotional and physical impacts for me were even harder. Extreme nausea, fatigue, joint pain and swelling combined with anxiety, fear, anger and panic kept me up all hours of the night. I read every book, joined every twin mom group and scoured the internet for all the information. But as prepared as I may have been the deep seed of the unknown began to weigh me down. That is until those babies were born. I did not have an “aha” moment during my pregnancy nor did I find a sense of calm. It wasn’t until those two babies were in my face with their perfect little round faces and tiny little bodies did I see the true miracle that was twins.

I was surprised with two babies and became a twin mom by Fallon Melander and Nesting Story

I hope to share my birth story and personal twin journey with you all soon but I really wanted to share my true side of finding out and processing a twin pregnancy and beyond. I hope this provides any of you who may be beginning your multiples journey or those in the midst of it some comfort that it is not all rainbows and butterflies. That fear and anxiety is okay and you are not alone. It does get better and it does get easier in other ways. Reach out to other twin mamas for support, don’t be afraid to ask for help, and know you are stronger than you think.