mom Archives - Nesting Story

How I Prioritize My Time as a Busy Creative Mum

Finding the time to be creative is difficult, especially as a parent. Your time can already feel scarce, between working, daycare runs, after school or weekend activities, and the running of a household; finding the time to work on your creative pursuits can feel impossible.

Time management is something I’ve struggled with as I’ve started to grow this blog, and improve my writing portfolio. I’ve had to drop limiting beliefs around what I need to feel creative and write, and instead shift my mindset and take a fresh look at how I use my time.

I’ve started to implement the practises listed below to help me be more productive and feel motivated to write. These have helped me gain a new perspective on what I can achieve, and have brought the fun and excitement back to writing that I feel I’ve been without recently.

Plan your work

Planning out what I want to write about is a great way to stay on track. I use Google Calendars to map out when I’d like to post something and start to plan what I’d like to post about; so that my content stays varied. When you have time to sit down, you can check your calendar and see what you’re currently working on.

It takes the wondering out of what to write and just gets you doing it. If you can plan out times in the week to work as well, do that. Block off those times in your calendar as creative time, and set an alarm on your phone to remind you.

Change your mindset

I had myself in the mindset that if I didn’t have 2 hours a day to myself, then I couldn’t get work done. I kept wanting to have these long uninterrupted periods to write like I used to have as a student and then living alone in Paris.

Before having Willow, writing never felt like work. I would write when the urge struck me, or I was feeling particularly inspired. With more free time than I knew what to do with, this was never a problem. Now with less time, I don’t have the luxury to wait until I feel motivated or inspired, and instead have to cultivate that myself.

If I want to blog regularly and advance in my abilities then I have to force myself to work as well. This was a tricky mindset change for me.

But if you can get yourself in the zone quickly, and work through something in 20 minutes, then you realize there are endless little pockets in your day where you can be creative.

The other night I wrote for 20 minutes while Ben cooked the dinner, and finished a blog post I’ve been sitting on for ages, which was 75% done. It’s easy to make excuses and shy away from getting into it when you’re tired or exhausted or frustrated you won’t have as much time as you’d like.

But if you instead appreciate all the little pockets of time you can use, you’ll find yourself feeling much more motivated.

Utilize your time well

I have two days a week where I start work later in the day. I used to spend this time at home, taking my time to get ready for the day after seeing Ben and Willow out the door at 7.30 am. Sometimes I’d write a little, but it was always more of a lazy morning where I had a nice breakfast and took my time getting ready.

It never felt like a lot of time when I stayed home, but if I’m out the door early in the morning for the daycare drop off, I have much more time afterwards to get writing done before having to head to the day job. I can go to the library close to work and spend a quiet couple of hours writing. I realized I was complaining about my lack of time to write, yet spending 3 hours leisurely getting ready two days a week.

I also haven’t been utilizing nap time. On my days at home when Willow naps, I usually collapse and watch TV, or try to catch up on laundry, have lunch and not do much at all.

But changing my mindset from “I never have enough time to write”, to “I have 45 minutes I could use right now”, or “I have 20 minutes before dinner I could use right now”, has opened up my days like you wouldn’t believe.

Time management has less to do with “managing time” and more to do with managing yourself. It’s an important distinction to make. Self discipline will help you make the most of your time, and get more done.

It’s really easy to feel frazzled, especially as a busy mum, but keep at the forefront of your mind why it’s so important to carve out this time for yourself. While your world may revolve around your children, don’t forget about yourself, and your goals and ambitions, because they are as valid now as they ever were. Your life looks different with kids and you have different priorities, but that doesn’t mean you need to drop yourself as one of them.

Roseanne is the blogger behind the honest and inspirational personal blog Roseanne Writes. Native to Scotland and now calling Canada home, Rosanne helps mothers navigate motherhood while remaining true to themselves. You learn more about Roseanne and follow her personal blog here.

5 Minute Face For The Busy Mom

Being a mom usually means early morning wake-ups, getting children ready for the day, running around managing the household, and staying up too late trying to soak up every last second of alone time you get once the kids have gone to bed. When you think about how much time all of that takes up, it is hard to imagine trying to fit in where you can get yourself ready for the day.

I’ve been there, and I know that it’s easier to run out the door with unwashed hair up in a bun and last week’s makeup still on, but I can bet you don’t feel your best when this happens. I know personally, finding a couple of minutes in my day to put myself together, even just a little bit, can make the biggest difference in my mood and tolerance.

If getting ready for the day feels like mission impossible, then you’re going to love this post. I’m going to share my tips to help you find the time in your busy days to get back to feeling your best with this 5-minute makeup look (and how to keep the children entertained while you do it!)

The first thing that needs to be tackled is how to keep the children busy while you throw yourself together. If you’re an early riser, consider waking up 15 minutes before your children usually wake up to get ready! This way you’re up and dressed without having to balance everything else at the same time. If you need those couple extra minutes (and I’m definitely with you on this one!) my favourite technique is to toss the kids in the empty bathtub with some toys and do my makeup in the bathroom. The children are contained, happy, and busy (for about 5 minutes until they realize what’s happening) and gives you the space to work. If bathtubs aren’t your child’s favourite place, the laundry hamper works just as well. Even better if there are clothes in it that they can throw out of it.

The next step is figuring out what you want to focus on in your makeup routine. With only a small amount of time, you want to make sure you aren’t biting off more than you can chew. Nobody wants to have to stop halfway through their contouring routine because they ran out of time. I like to focus on making myself look awake and fresh (both of which I am usually not) so I try to keep everything simple. Everyone will have different things they want to focus on but the most common things that people want to tackle each day are dark under eyes, dull-looking skin, and accentuating their facial features.

The last step is to use products that are multi-functional and don’t take a lot of work to apply. Choosing products that you can use in different ways in your makeup routine will give you the flexibility to easily change up your look without feeling overwhelmed. I use an illuminating moisturizer to brighten my face and add a healthy glow, concealer for under my eyes and redness, brow gel to tame and darken my brows (remember, the eyebrows frame the entire face), mascara to make my eyes look bigger and more put together, and lastly bronzer to bring back some structure to my face. All of these products can be used in multiple ways such as bronzer in the eyes as eyeshadow, mascara on a q-tip smudged in the lash line as a liner, and illuminating moisturizer under the brow bone and inner corner of the eye to create a more lifted look. This kind of look can be done with minimal brushes and products, easily and quickly. For a full 5-minute makeup routine including my favourite drugstore and high-end products to use, check out my 5-minute mom makeup here – https://elysemorency.com/5-min-makeup/

When the days feel long and the nights even longer you can start to lose the essence of who you are outside of motherhood. It is equally as important to take care of yourself as a mom as it is to take care of others. Remember, you have to put your own oxygen mask on first. Finding 5 minutes in your day where you can get ready can be the difference between a stressful day which feels unwinnable and a stressful day that you come out of feeling okay because you took the time to do something for you.

If you want to learn more quick makeup tips that you can add to your everyday makeup routine, check out www.elysemorency.com. You can also find Elyse on Instagram at @elysemor where she talks about the real and raw life of motherhood and makeup!

Setting Expectations for Your Kids

Setting reasonable expectations for my kids and navigating this new parent “epiphany” is something that I will have to practice every day. But it is so worth it.

Do we have reasonable expectations for our kids?

As a parent to young children, doing things together like sitting in a restaurant can be nerve-wracking and unpredictable. If you are anything like me, you stick to the old faithfuls, the loud and slightly overcrowded ones (so that your kids add to the noise, rather than having them ‘be’ the noise).

People-watching is commonplace for me there. I look around at the families, unconsciously examining their table manners, complimenting their kids and feeling guilt-filled relief when someone is having a harder time than me. Let’s be clear about one thing here – the judgments I’m making in these moments, are of myself and the expectations I’ve set for my kids.

Do we have reasonable expectations?

We’ve all seen the families with the “perfect” kids, where no one ends up under the table, they’re eating with their fork and saving half of their chocolate milk for after they eat.

If that is you and your kids, kudos. But that’s not me and mine. And for the longest time, it left me with thoughts like, “why can’t you do that?”

“Why won’t you listen the first time?”

“When I was your age, I had 10 times the responsibility that you do.”

“Can you stop that?”

These sound worse when you lump them together. I don’t say them one after another like this, and most often they remain thoughts in my head. But I am guilty of pulling one out in a moment of frustration.

Reasonable wouldn’t be the way I would describe these. These remarks break onto the surface when I am in an entirely UNreasonable state of mind.

In setting expectations, keep this in mind. You know your child. But, do you know where they are at and what they can do?

So, what’s reasonable? After welcoming twins, our family count went from the “perfect” family of four to a slightly-oversized family of six and I realized something (so simple) that changed my approach to parenting –

Our children are truly one-of-a-kind.

Maybe that’s something you’ve heard before. But now, for me, this ideal has been highlighted over and over again. I hadn’t anticipated that I would need to parent each of my children a little differently.

In setting expectations, keep this in mind. You know your child. But, do you know where they are at and what they can do? Figure out how to meet them where they are, and create an achievable “next step” for them to strive towards.

Setting reasonable expectations for my kids and navigating this new parent "epiphany" is something that I will have to practice every day. But it is so worth it.

Our kids ultimately want to make us proud and the pressure they feel to succeed is real. Know any adults that reflect on their childhood with, “nothing I did was ever good enough for my parents”? If our expectations are met with feelings of frustration or anxiety- on our part or theirs, consider adjusting the expectation next time, even if only slightly.

We can’t change overnight.

Be patient with yourself. Recently, I kept noticing my son and I continually butting-heads. It wasn’t until we were visiting some friends, that they noticed, “wow, where did the sarcastic humour come from?” I had no idea. All this time, he had been trying to make me laugh and I had been missing it, correcting his behaviour – no wonder we weren’t getting along.

Setting reasonable expectations for my kids and navigating this new parent “epiphany” is something that I will have to practice every day. But it is so worth it. Becoming more than “maintaining our image” in a restaurant, we are teaching our kids how to set realistic goals for themselves, start to understand their capacity and ultimately learn to help themselves find success, however that may look to them.

No pressure.

Lindsay Fricker is a mom of four – two plus twins. Kindergarten teacher by day, Lindsay enjoys helping others find ways to navigate the ugly parts of parenting, while keeping their sanity and positively supporting their children. You can read more from Lindsay here or follow her on Instagram @serendipity.six.

5 Nail Polish Colours You Need To Try This Summer

5 nail polish colours to try this summer.

When you’re busy, finding time to put yourself together can be challenging. One of my favourite ways to spend my self-care time is doing my nails. I’ll usually do it after I’ve put the baby to bed, with a glass of wine, and while it may seem simple, you’d be surprised how effective having your nails done can be at making you feel easily put together!

There is always such a huge selection of nail polish colours available that trying to pick a colour can be so hard! Don’t worry, I’ve picked the top 5, most universal colours that are guaranteed to suit everyone and anyone. These are my favourite nail polishes ranging from neutral and discrete, to bright and bold.

A little nail polish is an easy way for a busy mom to feel more put-together.

OPI- Lisbon Wants Moor

If I could only wear one colour for the rest of my life, this would be it. It’s a beautiful creamy pale pink with neutral undertones. It’s the kind of colour that doesn’t look washed out on lighter skin tones and pops on darker skin tones. It’s a great colour if you just want an everyday polish that goes with everything. The classic pale pink and a staple for any nail polish collection.

Essie- Clothing Optional

If you are looking for the perfect dark neutral colour, look no further! This sienna brown toned polish the perfect compliment to every outfit. It’s flattering on every skin tone, in every light, with every outfit. I love this colour going into the end of summer and beginning of fall when the temperature starts to drop and I start pulling out my comfy sweaters.

OPI- Gelato On My Mind

For a bright colour that is still discrete, Gelato On My Mind is your colour. It’s an almost robin egg blue which is bright enough to feel different than your neutrals but is still modest enough not to draw too much attention. It’s a great starter colour for the ladies looking to slowly step out of their comfort zone and try something different!

China Glaze- Pool Party

This colour is NOT for the faint of heart. It’s the brightest, boldest, and most beautiful tangerine orange nail polish I have ever seen. It is perfect for the summer months and guaranteed to be noticed when you wear it! The formula is great but it does best with a glossy topcoat as it dries down matte.

Sally Hansen- Strobe Light

No best nail polishes list would be complete without a glitter polish! Sally Hansen’s Strobe Light polish is the only glitter you will ever need. For a subtle look, apply one layer on a clean nail but to amp it up, apply a couple of coats for a more opaque colour. You can also layer it on top of your favourite colour to give a different look to your usual solid colour!

Finding ways to feel put together doesn’t have to mean spending hours on your makeup everyday or having perfectly styled hair! Something as simple as having your nails done can make a huge difference. Bonus, you can do it at home which is super cost-effective for the mama’s on a budget. Enjoy!

If you want to learn more quick makeup tips that you can add to your everyday makeup routine, check out www.elysemorency.com. You can also find Elyse on Instagram at www.instagram.com/elysemor/ where she talks about the real and raw life of motherhood and makeup!

Bringing Home Twins

Bringing home twins was probably one of the most intimidating experiences of my life. Firstly I was terrified of the hormonal and physical toll I was likely to experience. For example, when my daughter was born postpartum knocked me off my feet. From inconsolable crying to torrential night sweats and almost hourly epsom salt baths, I felt like I had been in a traumatic battle. So needless to say I was terrified of the twin postpartum phase and the hormonal changes times two.

Secondly, I was petrified of bringing home and caring for two tiny babies and one needy toddler. I imagined so many scenarios that ended in me locking myself in the bathroom or taking off down the street half dressed and hysterical. Luckily for me, my imagination made things out to be a lot worse than it was. Do not get me wrong it was a difficult transition, and there were many moments where it was overwhelming and I was on the verge of hysterics. However, as a second time mom I knew what was likely coming my way and this time I was ready for all the ups and downs of postpartum and was well equipped.. The following list I would like to think is what made those first few months tolerable at their worst, and may I dare say wonderful at its best. I am hoping other moms-to-be, twin moms or not will find this list helpful to them as well.

Bringing home twins was probably one of the most intimidating experiences of my life - Fallon Melander for Nesting Story

Mom Friends: someone who you can turn to, who at that exact moment is also experiencing what you are as well. For me it was a neighbour whose son was born two weeks after the twins. We quickly bonded over life as second time moms. From weekly walks to long coffee chats she was my life line during those precious and sleep deprived months. I was fortunate that I didn’t have to look far for a mom pal, but I definitely suggest connecting with other moms through facebook groups, local early years centres or even through apps that are available specifically to connect moms.

Smash + Tess Rompers: I lived in these! So comfortable, flattering, loose in all the right places, perfect for breastfeeding and dare I say pretty cute too. The last thing I wanted to think about postpartum was what I was going to wear. Being able to pull this romper out and put it on within seconds made it a huge win in my books.

Native Deodorant: as I mentioned above, postpartum sweat is real, and so is postpartum smell! For me this deodorant not only worked amazingly well, but it also is aluminum free, cruelty free and paraben free, so I felt safe wearing it around the little ones

Sleep Consultant: this is probably my number one recommendation for twin moms-to be. When I found out I was expecting twins I connected with another twin mom who just had twin boys. She recommended a sleep consultant that she had hired who not only assisted with forming a sleep plan for twins, but also provided overnight sleep support – aka stayed up all night with the babies while you and your spouse slept! Obviously this is not an affordable option for everyone, but for us it was life changing. As you can imagine as a pumping mom I was functioning on very little sleep, as was my husband who was up every few hours feeding one of the twins as well. The ability to have a trusted person in our home looking after and feeding our twins twice a week allowed us to recharge and emerge as functional human beings again.

Swaddle and Sound Machine: these were both life savers for us in ensuring our twins fell asleep and stayed asleep, and were recommended by our sleep consultant. With my first child, who hated being swaddled we used terrible velcro swaddles that she would always manage to break out of. We also gave up so easily on swaddling her because she would protest. We also had a sound machine that would turn off just as she was entering into her next sleep cycle, and would wake up. To remedy this with our twins we used the “Swaddle Up” zip up swaddle and used an inexpensive sound machine with a continuous play function we bought on Amazon.

Snap n Go Double Stroller: I used this baby until the bitter end, when I literally thought it was going to collapse under the weight of the twins. Although this stroller is not the easiest to maneuver and I would not recommend taking it for long trail walks, it was amazing for quick trips into the mall or grocery store. Being able to keep the babies in their infant car seats while quickly snapping them in was invaluable. A bonus, I was able to score one from a second-hand store and definitely got my money’s worth.

Swing and Bouncy Seat: having numerous places to put the twins down was essential, especially when I was solo. From swings, bouncy seats, baby loungers, rockers, you name it we had it at some point. Every baby is different and instead of buying two of everything I bought a few things and then assessed whether it was worth it to buy a second. My house often looked like a baby amusement park at this stage.

Fallon Melander is a thirty-something wife, reformed lawyer and mother to twins plus one

Homemade Frozen Meals: easy, delicious and fast. That is all you need when you are home, exhausted and hungry! I enlisted my mom to make a bunch of healthy meals that we could freeze and eat without worry.

Diaper Stockpile: especially for twins, you will not believe how many diapers you will go through. Disposable or reusable, stock up in advance! Our family threw us a diaper party and the amount of time and money we saved was such a gift.

Couch: This was a tip that I learned from the Nesting Story blog and probably one of my favourite nursery design decisions ever. I initially intended on purchasing an oversized glider for the twins room but quickly decided that even though it would allow me to sit with both twins, my husband would have no place to sit. Nesting Story showed me how a loveseat sized couch was perfect for not only allowing two people to sit and feed the babies, but also allows a place for one baby to lie down (supervised and within reach) while feeding the other baby. The couch is still used today by us to cuddle, read stories and lounge on while watching the twins play.

Honourable Mentions: good quality double breast pump, tons of activities to keep any older siblings busy, dry shampoo (this is how I often “washed” my hair), adult diapers for those post-birth days/weeks, and a huge water bottle – stay hydrated and combat all the water loss.

Fallon Melander is a thirty-something wife, reformed lawyer and mother to twins plus one. As a survivor of anxiety and depression, she hopes that by sharing her story she can help to inspire and bring others together.