kindergarten Archives - Nesting Story

Twins in Kindergarten – Same Class or Different Classes?

I never expected to be a mother to twins. Twin boys even less so. Yes, they run in my family. But after two singleton pregnancies, it had fallen off of my radar.

Finding out we were expecting twins after two singleton pregnancies

Twins seemed to amplify everything – pregnancy became high risk, followed by a scary hospital stay and preterm delivery. Caring for premature twins – the first year we were followed so closely by a medical team, everything was much more medicalized and full of questions and protocol. It wasn’t until their 4th birthday, when we were officially discharged, that we started to feel like we “got through it”, the hardest part was over.

Except that it isn’t really over. Old challenges appear to be continually replaced by new ones. And one of those new ones came in the form of Kindergarten Registration.

kindergarten registration decision for twins, same class or different class?

Like most parents, I had done my research. I spent time researching area-schools, even reaching out and asking questions. At the end of it all, they had one question for me – “same class or different classes?” that left me thinking.

If you happen to be trying to make a similar decision, here are 4 things that dictated our decision-making…

1. Independent or Dependent?

That unique connection shared by twins can create an extra level of support in the classroom enviable by most. But, if this sibling support prevents our kids from being able to navigate their day at school independently or prevents our kids from establishing peer relationships with children other than their sibling, we may want to rethink it.

2. Sibling Rivalry

In this age of parenting we are slowly reintroducing the idea of “friendly competition”. We know that our kids have their own unique set of strengths – but it’s oh so easy to keep comparing our twins. Even more, how do we navigate this as they begin to notice disparities between themselves? Do they raise each other up or fight for the top? If one twin seems to always be struggling to keep up with the other, it may be worth looking into separating them.

3. For Your Convenience

Think about your family dynamic for a second. It’s not hard to find families with two working parents, siblings to think about, meals to plan and extracurriculars to attend. Making ourselves available to have the relationship with our kids school that we want to have – sometimes the convenience of having one teacher, with one newsletter and one set of field trip dates to keep track of, is enough of a win to keep your twins together.

4. Extraneous Circumstances

Sometimes it’s not about what is happening inside the classroom at all. If they are going through any kind of transition – like moving to a new home, navigating divorce, experiencing grief/loss – then it may be worth thinking about whether or not having them undergo the stress of being separated as a necessary one.

We’ve ultimately decided to keep our twins together for their kindergarten year. But this decision, but that’s just what will work best for our family this year. We’ve transitioned to a new city, and as our boys attended the same preschool class, it was clear that their interests couldn’t be more different, resulting in different peer groups for the two.

Still not sure? The way our kids act at home isn’t necessarily how they are going to act at school. Do they attend daycare or preschool? Speak to someone who has supervised them in an unparented capacity, they will have some good insights into how they will behave in a classroom setting.

Keep an open mind and speak up, having open and ongoing communication with your school and kindergarten classroom teacher will ultimately be the best approach. Know that your decision doesn’t have to be the ultimate one. Decisions CAN change and so will your kids – what works this year may not work for next year.

A pro/con list will always be my favourite pathway towards a decision. Sit down with your thoughts and maybe take a deep breath or two, as the next challenge waits for us just around the corner.

Twin boys on their first day of kindergarten

Lindsay Fricker is a mom of four – two plus twins. Kindergarten teacher by day, Lindsay enjoys helping others find ways to navigate the ugly parts of parenting, while keeping their sanity and positively supporting their children. You can read more from Lindsay here or follow her on Instagram @serendipity.six.

Week two of school and the honeymoon is over

Yesterday at 6pm I had enough. I had a decision to make, either I let the tears come, as I felt them bubble to the surface, hot behind my eyes, or I just walk away and hide from my family.

I chose to walk away.

I put down the cooked chicken I was cradling in my hands, turned and walked out of my kitchen, away from my family. I was careful to be soft on my feet as I went upstairs, so that it was clear that I wasn’t angry at my kids or my husband, I just needed a minute. I walked along my hall ignoring toys scattered around me, through my bedroom, past the laundry basket of my clean clothes that I hadn’t had time to put away and straight into my bathroom, locking the door behind me.

I gathered up some towels, making a comfy-enough nest on the ground and collapsed into the quietness.

About twenty minutes later, after some much-needed, mindless scrolling through my phone and realized that my towel nest wasn’t protecting my sensitive (birthed four kids and twins) hips from the cold tile floor very well. So I hoisted myself up and went back downstairs determined to make it through the school night.

What had led up to this point?

It was a combination of things… our dog escaping and running down the street before taking our kids to school, meltdown after meltdown from our twins after school, the many forms that I had to fill out which seemed to be coming home daily, the lunches to make, the kids to dress, the playdates to organize, the evening chats about friends, the bedtimes…

On top of it all I was now juggling less work hours during the day with more deadlines than ever flowing in.

But, it was the chicken that was my tipping point. Remember the chicken?

Earlier that day I had ignored my messy house around me and proudly stared at our rare, empty sink without even one dirty dish in it. I had decided to go pick up a pre-made chicken from the grocery store to avoid new dirty dishes. Well, because it was earlier in the day, I had to refrigerate the cooked chicken, and when Mike arrived home, and I was completely spent, he made a comment about me refrigerating it, which to him wasn’t ideal.

Ughhhh…. I was done.

I am writing this the next day, a new day. Although I still feel spread too thin, and I am bracing for the after school chaos, I am determined to figure out our new normal. I know that this is the hard part, and we have to figure out how we can swing this and what our rhythm will be. But I know we will get there.

So if you are in the second week of school trenches with me, hang in the mama, and don’t forget, it is okay to take a few quiet minutes for yourself.

How do I really feel about our twins graduating pre-school?

Two weeks ago our twins, Mia and Everly, graduated pre-school at Kids and Company. It was totally adorable and I’ll admit it, a bit emotional too.

First of all, can we talk about their little caps that our twins’ teachers made out of black construction paper? Oh so cute! But as I sat there, on teeny chairs, as excited parents took photos of their first born hitting such a huge milestone, it hit me… these are our LAST babies. This is it.

Part of me has always loved doubling up on milestones with twins. Diapers, bottles, cribs, each of those phases rushed by us quickly with two and I never looked back. But lately I have been finding myself feeling a little cheated. I don’t get to bask in third and forth pre-school graduations; it’s a double whammy.

As our four kids excitedly scurried around the festively decorated classroom piling delicious snacks on their plates, I made sure I just slowed down and sat in the moment. In our little corner, amongst beanbag chairs and miniature sofas, I took it all in, trying to divide my attention between both excited children.

Don’t get me wrong. I am proud. I am oh so very proud. In fact, this is the moment we have been talking about since we laugh-cried, finding out that twins were on the way. But the moment is here and it is bittersweet.

So, what is my advice? Drink in every moment. The loose skin on your newborn’s knees, the way they keep sucking as they sleep, even after their pacifier has fallen out of their mouth. The first time they pull themselves up with a gleeful smile and get into something they know they aren’t supposed to. The giggles, oh the giggles! Drink it in mama.

This post was created in partnership with Kids & Company.

Finding a childcare that not only gives me time to build my career, but that my kids also love, has been such a wonderful aspect to having more of a work/life balance. Kids & Company has the flexibility I need with my schedule, but also the unique programming, learning opportunities, from-scratch meals and sense of community they provide fills me with such confidence in my choice in childcare.

With locations all across Canada, Kids & Company is a high-quality care and early development centre that parents can trust and kids will love. It started under the leadership of two moms (one with 8 children!), who felt there was a need for flexible care options in a setting with amazing teachers, community, proven development programs and an understanding of today’s families.

Whether it’s their Grab ‘n’Go snacks, parent workshops, or their complimentary care for date nights and shopping days outside of regular hours, nothing has been forgotten.

Here’s where it gets exciting… right now Kids and Company is waiving the registration fee (a $150 value) for Nesting Story readers! Just email amcnaught@kidsandcompany.com to access this exclusive offer.
One waved registration per family for a newly registering child before December 31, 2018. Subject to availability.

Disclosure: This post was sponsored by Kids & Company. While compensation was provided, all opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not necessarily indicative of the opinions of Kids & Company.

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Am I the only one experiencing moody kids as they approach Kindergarten?

My twins are starting kindergarten in September. Let’s just let that one sink in for a minute. I think I must have joked about just getting to September, 2018, since before our twins were born. That seemed like our point of arrival.

Now that our family is looking down the barrel at that date, we are dealing with a lot of different emotions. How are Mike and I feeling?

Excited.

Our twins? I wonder if it has really sunk in. But to be honest, we have been going through a rough behavior patch since late winter with them. Defiance, attitude, whining, you name it. It has been rough. One of the hardest parts has been that every time I have tried to “fix” them it hasn’t worked.

Even my world famous cuddles have been getting rejected. What gives?

Just as I was about to sit my girls out on our lawn with a “free to a good home” sign (joking!!!), it dawned on me…

We went through the same rocky patch with the six months leading up to kindergarten with each of our older kids. Could this phase possibly be a thing? I would look it up in one of the many “What to Expect” books I used to own, but I gave them away years ago. So I am just assuming this phase, this horrible, I feel like I live with cavemen, phase is a thing. A common thing that parents go through.

So now that we’ve established that I’m probably not alone, let’s unpack this shift in personality, shall we?

I think our twins are feeling their new independence and pending responsibility. I think they are trying to figure out who they are, and realizing that they are their own individual people. Could they be rejecting my cuddles to cut the cord before kindergarten? Possibly.

Whatever the reason is, I have decided just to love them. To listen to them. To allow them to be their own self and foster their self-confidence. I definitely know that having our twins in daycare has helped prepare Mia and Everly for “bid kid school”. We will get through this phase, and I am prepared to wait until mid-September for it to pass… like it did our older kids.

So, hang in there parents of almost-kindies. You are NOT alone.

Mia and Everly’s Kids & Company graduation photos.

This post was created in partnership with Kids & Company.

Whether it’s their Grab ‘n’Go snacks, parent workshops, or their complementary care for date nights and shopping days outside of regular hours, nothing has been forgotten.

One waved registration per family for a newly registering child before December 31, 2018. Subject to availability.

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