Twins are easier than one baby, or as us twins moms call one baby: a singleton. That’s right, my twins are easier that my son was on his own, or my oldest daughter was on her own. Of course, there are a lot of factors, like the fact that my almost one-year-old old twins are happy babies by nature. They also have older siblings to entertain them. But my experience as a twin mom for the first year, is twins are easier. I am busier, and my life feels like one big deja vu, but I am tempted to pull an Oprah and say “you get twins, and you get twins,” (minus all of the complications that come with a multiples pregnancy). Please don’t go and piss of a mom of twins by telling her you have always wanted twins, yes, this pisses us off. Just know that if you find yourself like I did, with a doctor telling you it’s twins, that there are definitely some perks to raising two at once!
1. They have a companion all of the time. This is something that I noticed the first day when my twin girls were born. As soon as I placed them together for a snuggle, their breathing would slow and they would relax. As the months went by, they became the best of friends, playing with their toys. They get a into an occasional fight, but I often stand back and let them work it out, which they often do. When I drop them off in our church nursery, they don’t even look back. This has been a wonderful break from when we used to have to leave a hysterical baby.
2. They are more patient and less needy. I don’t know if a memo is sent to twins while they are still in the womb, but they came out getting that the world didn’t only revolve around them. As a twin mom, I quickly learned to decide on who got the attention first based on their strengths and weaknesses. Also, if they are both fussing, often there is an instigator and a copy cat. You get pretty good at learning their cries and knowing who is first in line. Bottom line, unless there is a very good reason to fuss, they don’t bother. Something I wish my son had learned when he was a baby.
3. You drop the guilt. This is something that also happens when you have a second child, but even more so when you have twins. This shift happens when you have your first baby, (singleton), where you start wondering, “am I reading enough books? Am I singing enough songs? Should I take him to more play groups?” And on and on. When you are busy with more than one baby, you don’t really have time to feel guilty. Or at least with twins, your guilt is about more basic things like, “did I even cuddle both babies today? Did everyone have a bath? Did everyone eat enough?” A couple weeks into twin motherhood, my guilt was long gone, because I realized that I didn’t have time to ponder, only do.
4. Teaching twins is easier. After having four kids, you realize that every kid is different, including the way they learn. Our oldest, Holden, would take a while and very specific instructions to learn everything from walking to talking. Then came our oldest daughter, Beau. She picked things up before we were even ready. Just by observing. Now we can see that our twin’s learning style and pace is similar to our older two. Mia is just like Holden, and Everly is just like Beau. Only, just when I think Mia is about to fall a little behind Everly, she catches right up. It is so helpful to have another baby constantly demonstrating how to babble, crawl and pull herself up. Which leaves less work for mom and dad.
5. You feel so much more efficient. The type A parent in me, (or at least what’s left of it having to learn how to not be striving for perfection after four kids), loves feeding, bathing, teaching and caring for twins. Not only is everything more entertaining because they feed off of each other, but you are constantly killing two birds with one stone. I am sure potty training will be a messy job, but it will be nice knowing I am getting it all over with at once!