twins Archives - Page 4 of 21

The day I dropped the guilt and embraced our village

This post was created in partnership with Kids & Company.

One vivid memory I have during my pregnancy with Beau, is having Mike drop me off at the hospital’s labour and delivery room, (not in labour), sitting myself down, and feeling a flood of tears making their way out. Before I knew it, I was sobbing uncontrollably.

At the time, Holden was eighteen months old. I was struggling with a child who hated life at the time and I was about to bring a newborn into the mix. Without having said much about my then situation, two incredibly compassionate nurses rushed to my side as if almost knowingly, and proceeded to share their own parenting horror stories.

They then offered what I strongly believe to be the best parenting advice every parent deserves to be in on: “Get. Help.”

Before this I had never considered getting help. I assumed that as a parent it was my job and my job alone, to take care of anything and everything. It was almost as if these nurses had freed me from the guilt I would have felt had I sought after help. Their encouragement permitted me to be okay with the idea of asking and almost immediately pulled me out of my misery.

I hired a babysitter to come twice a week to be with Holden, while I went out with our new baby girl Beau. Soon after, I moved him to a home daycare two afternoons a week, then three. Holden started to enjoy life more, being around his peers, and I was beginning to manage better as a parent.

Three years of doing this and being home, I was yearning to have more of a work-at-home-mom balance. With this new goal in mind, I looked into where I could use more help. I tried working part-time while my kids were first at home with a nanny, but we later realized that this new arrangement wasn’t quite right for our family.

Over the years my mural painting business, Nesting Story, (yes, that’s where Nesting Story began), transformed into a blog, we added two more kids to our family, and grew our village to include help with cleaning our home every other week.

Today, our twins (Mia and Everly), are at daycare four days a week and both our older kids (Holden and Beau) are in school and attend day-camp during the summer.

Kids and Company has helped our family establish a routine with our twins, prep them for school, and supports our family by creating balance in our world.

With every change in circumstance, I’ve allowed myself to be okay with getting help and it has made a huge difference in our lives. I am a big advocate for women’s mental health and I urge every mother to look for a way to find balance in your life, even if it means having to lean on a friend, family member, or any other support.

It is important to have a career and be able to pay for steady childcare for my kids. To create a routine that works for everyone, is what keeps my family healthy and happy.

It took a long time for me to let go of these expectations I originally set out when I became a new mom. I had this ideal image of myself having everything put together, my career and my family life being perfect. Though I have my career and (at most-times) a happy family, it took some help to get here. I urge you to rid your guilt, and really think about where your strengths and weaknesses lie. Don’t lose yourself in the shuffle. Carve your own parenting path, even if it means getting help. I definitely don’t do it all, and I heavily rely on our village.

With locations all across Canada, Kids & Company is a high-quality care and early development centre that parents can trust and kids will love. It started under the leadership of two moms (one with 8 children!), who felt there was a need for flexible care options in a setting with amazing teachers, community, proven development programs and an understanding of today’s families.

Whether it’s their Grab ‘n’Go snacks, parent workshops, or their complimentary care for date nights and shopping days outside of regular hours, nothing has been forgotten.

Here’s where it gets exciting… right now Kids and Company is waiving the registration fee (a $150 value) for Nesting Story readers! Just email msawatzky@kidsandcompany.com to access this exclusive offer.
One waved registration per family for a newly registering child before December 31, 2017. Subject to availability.

Disclosure: This post was sponsored by Kids & Company. While compensation was provided, all opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not necessarily indicative of the opinions of Kids & Company.

8 Life altering ways putting our kids in daycare has changed our family

This post was created in partnership with Kids & Company.

Before finally making the decision to put our twins in childcare, I wrestled so much with how it would impact our family. Little did I know that this choice would turn our family on it’s head in the best possible way. Here are 8 ways putting our twins in daycare has altered our life…

1. It has made potty training a breeze. Potty training is a messy roller coaster ride, full of stops and starts, and ups and downs. Although I had potty trained our older kids, I wasn’t looking forward to potting training times two… our twins.

Not only did having our twins watch as their friends at Kids & Company learn to use the potty help, but I also get a lot of breaks from the exhausting and time consuming task. Knowing that there is a team of people taking over potty training most days gives me the mental break I have very much needed to tackle this milestone.

2. It is prepping my twins for school. I have had each of my kids in some form of childcare before beginning Kindergarten, and I truly believe our transition into full-time school has been easier because our kids are already used to a classroom setting.

3. It has helped my twins develop their speech. Teaching your child how to talk can be a lot harder than it seems. Although I have been able to help our twins along a bit with their speech, having siblings and better yet, going to daycare with other kids who are ahead with their speech has been the best teaching tool.

4. They have learned independence. One day I went to pick up my twins from Kids & Company before naptime and they were still finishing their lunch. I snuck around the corner so that my presence wouldn’t disrupt them, and peeked my head out just enough so that I could observe them. Not only was I shocked that my kids were gobbling up every vegetable on their plate, (which they don’t do at home), but they were drinking out of cups without a problem. Not sippy cups with lids, cups… and not spilling one drop.

I watched as they finished, put their hands up and told their teacher they were done. Then my jaw hit the floor. Each my girls picked up their plates, scraped their food into a garbage can and washed their plates in a soapy tub. My twins are two-years-old! From that point on I have given them much more independence at home, including helping out more with clean up.

5. They are learning how to make friends. Although my twins have a social advantage by being one of four kids, it’s very different when it comes to learning how to socialize with kids who aren’t your siblings.

I think my favourite part of each day is picking up our girls and watching all of their friends run up to the door with them to hug goodbye.

6. It helps establish a routine for the family. Before ever putting my kids into childcare, back when I was a stay-at-home-mom, I found the structure-less days very difficult. Not having a reason to wake up at a certain time each day, or get out of pajamas started to affect my mental state. Days would blur into each other to no end.

Having to get out the door at a certain time each day has created a huge shift in everyone’s moods around here. Our family thrives on a routine and having school and daycare set up our day is a big help.

7. I am able to compartmentalize parenting and work. As a self-employed, work-from-home-mom, I have found it very difficult in the past, before having daycare to separate work life and home life. I was often scrambling to get deadlines done while trying to occupy my toddlers with television and play-doh. This would usually result in me becoming frustrated, our house being destroyed, our twins being bored and me working well into the night.

Now I am able to wrap up my work during my now established “work hours” while my twins are being stimulated and making friends at daycare. Then after everyone has arrived home from daycare and school, I can just give them my focus and be a mom.

8. It has been good for my marriage. Mondays are my favourite day of the week. Although I love the laid-back vibe of the weekends, there is nothing like being able to get your bearings on a Monday after all of our kids have cleared out of our house.
These quiet breaks are not only great for all of the reasons listed above, but they have also been very beneficial to my marriage. My mood has drastically changed for the better since having this relief.

Finding a childcare that not only gives me time to build my career, but that my kids also love has been such a wonderful aspect to having more of a work/life balance. Kids & Company not only has the flexibility I have needed with my unique schedule, but the incredible fresh, from scratch meals they provide for my kids each day (which they actually eat), fills me with such confidence with my choice in childcare.

Whether it’s their Grab ‘n’Go snacks, parent workshops, or their complimentary care for date nights and shopping days outside of regular hours, nothing has been forgotten.

How I found myself after becoming a mom by going back to work

This post was created in partnership with Kids & Company.

When I became a mother I felt lost.

After the dust had settled, my nipples healed and the excitement with round the clock visitors died down, I realized that my identity had been stripped away from me.

This was it, the end all, be all moment I had been fantasizing about since childhood… I was a mother.

But then why was I filled with such resentment?

Don’t get me wrong, I loved my baby, and I really didn’t experience any postpartum depression with my first pregnancy in the very beginning, but something felt very off.

I was going to be a stay-at-home mom. That was it, end of story. Watching my own mother raise her four kids with such pleasure and fulfillment, I was sold.

Motherhood was my end game.

During my pregnancy I took my last train into the big city for my pretty amazing Interior Design job, and said goodbye to a traditional career.

But as weeks turned into months, and months turned into years, and one baby eventually turned into two, I increasingly felt myself fade away.

I was the shell of the person I once was. My days were filled with routines, caring for my children, while constantly watching the clock. What was wrong with me? Why wasn’t I thriving?

As time went by, I eventually realized that I didn’t love a lot of the stay-at-home mom activities some of my friends cherished. Guilt began to set in, and I felt like a fraud.

When year three rolled around, I started to get real with myself and admit that I was pretty deep into a depression. My husband would walk in the door from work at the end of the day and find me pacing the halls.

Something had to change.

It was time to face my biggest critic and re-evaluate my path, including what my life was going to look like and most importantly, who I was.

The truth was I had no idea who I was.

The me before kids had different priorities, friends, interests and values. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I didn’t recognize the person looking back. It was time to find out who that person was, despite how scary that process might be.

After a lot of thought I finally decided that I did want a career outside of my home, which then set off a new type of guilt. I felt guilty that motherhood wasn’t enough for me, and I felt like I was betraying myself and my kids by deciding to take a different path than the one I had so clearly thought I had wanted.

It took me a while as I worked through a bizarre grieving process of letting go of being a stay-at-home mom, and reframed the ideals of motherhood I had pictured in my head for so long.

I finally realized that my new path and sense of balance would ultimately make me a much happier mother and wife, and no less of a mom.

After going back to work, I felt a new sense of self emerge. I wasn’t the same person I was before having kids. I was a new and improved me; a stronger person, a person full of confidence and maturity who had faced their fears and reinvented who they were.

Now eight years, four kids and many career changes later, I am thriving, balancing family life and work life while running my own business.

Although some days my house looks like a tornado went through it and my to-do list is impossibly long, I’ve never felt that sense emptiness again.

I definitely don’t do it all and it does take a village. I think the biggest factor of making your own work/life balance fit is finding the right childcare for your kids.

With locations all across Canada, Kids & Company is a high-quality care and early development centre that parents can trust and kids will love. Beginning under the leadership of two moms, (one of whom has 8 children), who felt there was a lack of child care options that truly understood what parents wanted, like amazing teachers, flexible care options, a community, a nurturing environment, programs designed to develop children and support for other pursuits like work, volunteering and hobbies.

Whether it’s their Grab ‘n’Go snacks, or their complimentary care for date nights and shopping days outside of regular hours, nothing has been forgotten.

Here’s where it gets exciting… right now Kids and Company is waiving the registration fee (a $150 value) for Nesting Story readers! Just email msawatzky@kidsandcompany.com to access this exclusive offer.
One waved registration per family for a newly registering child before December 31, 2017. Subject to availability.

Head to kidsandcompany.com for more!

What I remember about my C-Section

This post was created in partnership with Huggies.

When I think back on that day, almost three years ago now, I remember snippets. It plays like a dramatic movie in my head. Detailed scenes fading to black, skipping beats in time.

I am standing in our home whispering softly to not wake our sleeping children upstairs, as my husband, Mike takes some last twin belly photos for me.

Fade to black.

I am at the hospital registering. My hands are cold and my heart is fast. Adrenaline has taken over my body and I have Mike speak for me as my mind is foggy and I can’t recall answers to the questions being asked.

Fade to black.

I am in a hospital bed, an IV in my arm, and people are buzzing quietly around me. Mike is on his phone slowly swaying in a rocking chair. He looks up at me with kind eyes.

Teams of doctors and nurses introduce themselves, telling me their roles and which team they are on… baby A, or baby B. I nod in disbelief, thinking, “is this a dream?”

Fade to black.

I am walking into the operating room. The lights are bright, but something has caught my eye, which makes the rest of the room fade away. Two warming beds, ominously waiting for their soon-to-be tenants.

I climb up onto the table as instructed, and with a nurse in front, coaching me to curl my back, while attempting small talk, a team of people place an epidural into my spine.

I don’t feel much. I realize that my mind is disassociating itself from my body. A tactic I mastered years ago when I had my thyroid removed. I am going through the motions, moving like I am in water.

Fade to black.

I am lying on the table, warm, feeling safe, but only half present. Mike arrives beside me. The doctor performing my C-Section keeps trying to make small talk and ask me questions. “Why so many questions?” I think to myself. I eventually hear her say that I am not paying attention, and she begins to chat with Mike instead.

I turn my head to my right, and decide to focus on the warming beds.

Fade to back.

A baby is being held up in the air. She’s crying. I comment on how round her face is… like mine.

Fade to black.
There is pulling, and tilting. Another baby is held up in the air. She is longer, with darker hair and I notice she is a little more squished than her sister.

Fade to black.

“She is having a hard time breathing, we will be taking her to the NICU.” Says a nurse about baby B. There are so many people gathered around her warming bed, that I can’t see her. I notice that baby A is on her own, in her warming bed, content and quiet.

Mike turns to me, and before he can get the words out of his mouth, I say, “go! Stay with baby B.” They leave.

Fade to black.

I am in the recovery room, holding a baby. Shivering. I can’t stop shivering.

Mike arrives and tells me baby B is going to be fine. Almost immediately following Mike, baby B is brought to us. I cradle my two swaddled babies as I shiver.

Fade to black.

I have been moved to my maternity room. A kind nurse has instructed eagerly awaiting family and friends to wait outside my room. She undresses my top half, and unswaddles baby A and places her on my chest. She then does the same with baby B. A blanket is pulled up over us.

She tells me that doing skin-to-skin with my twins for a couple hours will stop my shivering and help regulate my small babies’ temperature. My girls immediately fall asleep and almost melt into my body. My shivering stops, and I feel my whole body become warm, as the morning sun streams through the window onto us.

Family and friends are allowed in. They are disappointed that they can’t hold our babies, and instead take turns staring into their tiny faces remarking on how different they look.

I am in heaven. I spend the next two hours in complete bliss, knowing that this will go down as one of my all time most precious memories.

April is C-Section awareness month and I have partnered with Huggies to share their No Baby Unhugged initiative, aimed at helping parents maximize precious skin-to-skin time and hugs with their newborn baby. They have created the Hug Plan, which acts as an extension of your birth plan, to help plan for hugs during every moment of your birth experience, including C-Sections. You can download the Huggies Hug Plan here.

Disclosure: This post was sponsored by Huggies. While compensation was provided, all opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not necessarily indicative of the opinions of Huggies.

Today I broke

Well, that was a week.

It was one of those weeks that by today, my nerves are fried. It wasn’t all bad. I had a great work and social week, but when it comes to parenting, I felt like I could barely keep my head above water. The waves kept crashing.

As you may know, if you have been following our story, we moved our twin toddlers from cribs to beds last weekend. I am officially referring to this transition as toddler bed gate. It deserves its own name.

Nights haven’t been too bad, but the absence of naps has been a nightmare. Before switching our twins, they were napping every second or third day. So, I thought that if naps went out the window with their cribs, that we’d all be okay.

I was so wrong.

The most over-used word in our house right now is “basket cases.” Here’s the kicker, not only are Mia and Everly in fragile mental states at the moment, but we also celebrated Beau’s sixth birthday on Tuesday which has sent her through loop.

The build up and excitement of big events has a big impact on our Beau. I get it. I was that kid too.

But let’s get back to toddler bed gate. Although I have put our twins in quiet time in their room, and an occasional nodding off has happened in their stollers, the result of this big change and sleep deprivation has impacted their behaviour… big time.

So, here I am, on a sunny cold Friday morning, trying to navigate these waters as I balance motherhood and work, while switching our girls from Play Doh, to Mega Blocks, to snacks, in hopes that maybe, just maybe naps will miraculously happen today. All plans of running errands with them have disappeared.

I had a good cry to Mike on the phone after dropping the big kids off at school this morning. That was therapeutic.

Thankfully it is Friday and I get to co-parent this weekend.

Send coffee.

Want to watch our week unfold? Here are this week’s vlogs…

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