I will stop seeing myself as broken and finally see what my body is capable of

This is it. This is the year. I am done hiding behind my kids in photos, and pulling at my clothes as I sit down. I am ready for change. But I know now that I have to change the way I see myself, before any real change can happen.

mother and baby

When I was around my oldest daughter’s age, (so that would be around age six), I had two minor surgeries. Then I jumped into my parents’ pool backwards, smacking my chin, resulting in stitches. The years following I had many bouts of strep throat, tonsillitis, pneumonia and mono. Then at the end of high school came the big finish… a tumour on my thyroid resulting in a complete thyroidectomy.

I know right? I am starting to look a little like a thirty-four-year-old quilt.

I was one of four kids, and can’t imagine the worry all of this would have caused my parents. Now as a mother of four, I know how easily you can start placing your child into a certain description or type, even if you shouldn’t. I was the charismatic, sunny, slightly chubby, bubbly, non-athletic one.


My mom was very quick to let me know that I was beautiful the way I was, that I would always find my place in the world because I was not only smart, but had incredible street-smarts, and to not over-do it. I credit this kind upbringing to my current post-four-babies, (including twins), self-love attitude. I do think I am pretty awesome, despite some scars, stretch marks and cellulite I have collected over the years.

But truth be told, I have played the “broken” card one too many times in my life. After having mono, I was able to negotiate a doctor’s note that exempted me from phys-ed for an entire year. I was a smooth talker, and would turn my fear of letting team members down, into a joke about how I don’t play any sports that involves a ball, or a team.

Ahem… this one is still true and I will stand by it. Basically, the idea of me playing volleyball is my worst nightmare.

But when it came to physical exercise and getting in shape, I would attempt my goal for a short time, and then give up.

Finally, in my second year of collage, after ballooning to an all-time high on the scale, I set my mind to it… I would lose the weight and become the fit person I always wanted to be. Guess what, I did it. I reached my goal. I lost almost 30 pounds and became this badass, strong person that I had never met before.


How did I do it? I did the zone diet, (which Jennifer Aniston made cool at the time), I worked out a lot, (I had lots of free time between classes), and I indoor rock climbed, (one of my favourite non-team/ball sports), with my boyfriend at the time, Mike, (he’s now my husband).

I remember that this time in my life was one of my happiest.

This was following one of the darkest times in my life, after having my thyroid out, my family dog dying, family health scares and not yet finding my path to my future career, I had fallen into a depression, which I eventually pulled myself out of with the help of a therapist.

But now I was soaring. I would sometimes come home from a late night indoor climbing workout, or running faster than I thought was possible on the treadmill and be met by family or friends with comments that I was becoming “too thin,” or “too obsessed.”

These comments slowly wore me down. They took roots inside of me, and began to blossom into feelings of guilt about my progress and that maybe everyone liked me a little more as the bubbly, slightly chubby, non-athletic one.

Since the height of my personal physical fitness goal being reached, and the subsequent fall back into old habits of considering a light stroll a workout, resulting in being so weak I pull my neck picking up my kids toys, this idea that I am broken or more liked when out of shape, has haunted me.

Well, that was until I was met with the biggest challenge yet in my life… my twin pregnancy. The mental, physical and emotional toll this challenge took on me has been life changing. I think the fact that I couldn’t just give up and take my belly off was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.

twin pregnancy

Truthfully, I thought my twin pregnancy would break me. I surely wasn’t cut out for that kind of marathon. Every day I would think to myself, “this is it, the day that my body gives out, that it exposes itself for what I always thought it was… a weakling.”

But instead, the opposite happened. My body shocked me at its incredible ability to be an incubator, creating two people at once. Even when I would almost black out when I reached the top of the stairs, or the day I lost my vision while driving. It did it’s job. It was a mighty vessel.

twin pregnancy

My mind even shocked me. Out of isolation and a feeling of being trapped inside of my body, I was able to eventually push past the fear and create change in my life.

It has taken me a long time to get where I am after having my twins. It has taken a lot of perseverance and hard work. But most of all, it has taken a lot of patience and love for myself.

weight loss after twin pregnancy

Rewiring my brain isn’t easy. I know what has held me back and I am slowly chipping away.

I have created a visual in my head, and I am constantly closing my eyes and returning to that vision of strength and determination. A person who isn’t afraid anymore. A person who is going to let go of the comfortable weight and soar again.

working out

I have come so far and have been through so much. It is time to recreate who I see myself as, knowing that although I will be changing some things, that doesn’t mean that I am losing the best parts of me.

I want this change to come from a place of self care and of giving back to my body after everything it has given and created.

I’m not broken, I’ve just been scared. It’s time to let that fear help propel me forward so that I can reach my goals, drop the excuses, be secure within my success and know that wanting to reach the finish line is not selfish, it’s self-love.


What am I doing about it?

I have been researching, reading, sharing, exploring and have been asking for help. I have partnered with a personal trainer who is going to help me stay focused and stand by me when I think that I am not enough.

Rob from Trainers On Site has been working with me, (and Mike), since the beginning of December and already I am feeling stronger and closer to my goals.

I am so excited to start bringing all of you on this journey with me. I will be raw and honest with you along the way, sharing my fears and my triumphs as I peel back the layers of self doubt I have been carrying around with me since childhood.

I will be sharing what I’ve learned, including my exercise routine, fitness tips and meal ideas on Facebook (including live videos), here on the blog, on my YouTube channel and on Instagram.

Progress photos will be posted each week, and I will motivate and inspire you with your goals along the way.

Trainers On Site is an in-home personal training service. Servicing Toronto, West GTA and Halton.

Disclosure: Nesting Story is in partnership with Trainers On Site and has received free services from them.

Workout Overhaul And Body After Baby Update

Body after baby

Sometimes it takes stepping out of my busy world and reflecting to really see what path I am going down. Recently, as I was editing my vlogs, I realized that my body was getting a little soft and my super fast workout routine was just not cutting it anymore.

In this vlog I talk about my body’s journey and share an update on it today. I start to create a new workout plan which gets a bit derailed by bad weather and a busy weekend. But I am off to good start.

Welcome to our home…

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35 Moms’ New Year’s Resolutions: Prepare To Be Inspired!


As I have scrolled though my social media news feeds this past week, I couldn’t help but be inspired by all of the New Year’s resolutions I saw. In fact, I may have borrowed one or two ideas!

A few common themes stood out for me, especially coming from moms: self care, more patience, weight loss, to thrive, or even just surviving the first year. Some made me laugh, and some brought me to tears. Overall, I think that 2016 should be the year that us moms take the time we deserve for ourselves.

Here are 35 moms’ inspiring New Year’s resolutions…

“To say “me too”. I have a 19 month old and a 4 month old, so I really can’t say ” me first”, but this will be the year that I start paying attention to myself again. So, “me too”, even if there are some days I can only manage 5 minutes of me time. Going along with that is getting my body and mind healthy again, 2 babies 15 months apart really takes a toll and I am ready to feel healthy again.” – Kari (mom to two), Schenectady, NY, US

“Mine is to be more supportive and genuine to my family including my husband and my children. To be more attentive and not just present, but really commited to being involved and interested in what they are telling me. I want to be less critical of others and not as judgemental.” – Carrie (mom of an 11 year-old daughter, 8 year-old son and 9 month old boy/girl twins), Pennsylvania, US

“To cut out sugar and cut my cholesterol numbers. To be strict about it and healthy up.” – Tara (mom of three, ages 5,8 and 12)

“Self care. Time alone, workouts, feeding myself real food, learning to love me again.” – Liz (mom of four, ages 5, 4 and 17 month-old twins)

“Mine is to lose weight, eat better and do what it takes to make myself happy.” – Tonya (mom of 2 year-old daughter and two-year-old twin boys), Minnesota, US

“Stop rushing through life is mine ….same as last year ….hopefully this year I will actually commit to this and stop rushing through everything and stop always being in a hurry.” – Kinga (Mom of two), Ontario, Canada

Elena Gonzalez “To be healthier, friendlier, and a more positive person.” – Elena (mom to seven-month-old daughter), Texas, US

“Get more organized – house and meal prep (especially lunches) & eat healthier! way too much junk food in our house!” – Karen (mom to two, ages 13 and 4)

“1) To love myself and look after me. I spend my time running round after others and I need to have a little bit of me time and stop beating myself up about the little things that don’t matter.
2) Enjoy my girls as much as possible, last year flew by and I don’t want to miss them growing up.
3) Be more active (get back to running)” – Alexa (mom to twin one-year-old girls), Lincoln, England

“My word for this year will be: RESTORE. I will RESTORE my body, I will RESTORE my mind, I will RESTORE my safety, I will RESTORE my relationships, I will RESTORE my drive.” – Stephanie (mom to one-year-old twin girls) You can read more about Stephanie’s goals for 2016 here

“To get out and do more fun things as a family. Also, to lose weight and get in better shape. I really want to be healthy for my girls!” – Jillian (mom to a two-year-old daughter and ten-month-old identical twin girls), Alberta, Canada

“I’m a Mom to be – but i’m counting that as my 2016 goals are with my family in mind. I’m working towards Progress – NOT perfection this year. I’m working towards my goals but will NOT beat myself up if I don’t hit them all – Every ounce of progress I make in health, wealth, wellness etc is all creating a better me for my family without burning myself out and becoming frustrated that I haven’t ‘hit’ my goals.” – Andrea (mom-to-be), Ontario, Canada

“I think my new years resolution is to be easier on myself, as a new mom I’m constantly beating myself up and I need to have more grace..and try to enjoy the time I have with my son because it’s already flying by and I feel like when you’re in it, you never just enjoy it!” – Fiona, (new mom), Ottawa, Ontario

“Don’t sweat the small stuff! Learn to love a little “mess” from playing, cooking, etc.” – Lindsay (mom of 17-month-old daughter), Ontario, Canada

“As a mother of 2 teens (18 and 15), a non profit volunteer and full time worker, I need to learn to slow down, less stress and the feeling of being overwhelmed. More time to focus on my home and family and myself, More Camping. Happy New Year!” – Berta (mom of two teens, ages 18 and 15), San Jose, California

“Move from our tiny, shoebox rental to a home of our own. Start replenishing my savings account. And eat dinner at the table each night.” – Meghan (mom to a five-year-old daughter and one-year-old twin girls)

“To stress less, spend more time as a family and lose the baby weight from #2.” – Melissa (mom to a six-year-old daughter and five-month-old baby), New Zealand

“More quality time as a family, less screen time and get out for walks during the week! Also get into meal planning would be helpful on those busy days!” – Sara (mom to 22-month-old boy), British Columbia, Canada

“To journal everyday! By writing my diet (to try and eat better), how im feeling, events or things that happen, Everyday!” – Kimberly (mom to two boys ages 9 and 5 and twin two-month-old girls)  Saskatchewan, Canada

“To declutter our house stuff so that we can really enjoy our favourite things, and help other by donating what we dont need anymore, or trash the rest.” – Aly (mom to 20-month-old twin girls), Ontario, Canada

“To practice patience as a parent, and make time for myself and my relationship with my husband.” – Anne (mom to ten-month-old son), Michigan, US

“My resolution is to be a blessing. I want to encourage other moms, uplift, support.” – Jess

“Putting myself back on my to do list.” – Rylee (Mom of four boys, ages 4, 3 and two-year-old twins), South Dakota, US

“To get healthy and fit for my three kids and wear a Bikini again (think I’m dreaming there)” – Sarah (mom to three, ages 7, 5 and 8 months), Adelaide, South Australia

“To be more present in everyday things and less hard on my husband for doing things “his way.” Stay in shape and stress less.” – Gayle (mom of 16-month-old daughter), Ontario, Canada

“I’m going trough a break up of six years with children of five, two and four month old twins. My resolution is to learn to love myself and value my worth!” – Dolce, (mom of four, ages 5, 2 and four-month-old twins), Texas, US

“I plan to move every day. I’ve struggled my whole life with weight and I have incredibly low self esteem. I am the proud mama of two daughters 1 who is 5 and 1 who is 11 months. I want to create a life of health without a focus on weight. I don’t want my daughters to ever doubt their worth based on the number on the scale. I live in California and am surrounded by beautiful women!!” – Katie (mom of two daughters, ages 5 and 11-months), California, US

“My resolution is to develop my skills in being a good mum.” – Linda ( mom of five-week-old twin girls), Sydney, Australia

“Mine to lose the baby weight from baby 3!! – Egle (mom of three daughters, ages 12, 9 and five-weeks-old), UK

“To survive.” – Alyssa (mom of four-month-old fraternal boys), New Mexico, US

“To get back in shape, not necessarily loose weight, just get some muscle strength back, especially to help my back and to be more “there” with my kids.” – Jennifer

“My resolution is to love myself as I am (also in bikini) and enjoy the time with my family.” – Carina (mom of one-year-old daughter), Austria, Vienna

“My resolution is to practice patience and learn to be okay with decisions we were we are in life, stop rushing and trust in our choices in designing our life.” – Cachelle (mom to one-year-old twin girls), Ontario, Canada

“1) Lose the 30 pounds of stubborn baby weight left from my twin pregnancy.
2) Enjoy my kids/family.
3) Not only survive, but thrive during the rest of my twins first year!” – Heather (mom of five, ages 8, 5, 22 months and three-month-old identical twin girls), Washington State, US

“To just survive (with some semblance of sanity intact would be a bonus).” – Lindsay (mom to a 14 year old daughter and seven-month-old twin boys), Oklahoma, US

What is your New Year’s resolution?

Don’t forget to join the conversation on Facebook!

Photo: Blue Bird Creative

The 20 Minute, 2 Week Workout Challenge

Last weekend, it dawned on me that I was going to be leaving for my vacation to sunny Florida in two weeks. I can’t believe how quickly time has flown by. But I was really frustrated with myself because for the past month I had completely let my exercise slide.

I didn’t seem to have time to work my exercise routine into my day anymore. I still wake up early, but I am using that time to shower and not rush to get all four kids out the door. My workouts were constantly on the back burner, and my body had gone soft. Successful weightloss after babyThis was not how I wanted to feel on vacation. I want to feel good with whatever I put on. I want to feel stronger and more firm. I am not looking to drastically hit my weightless goal, just sculpt my body a little. I have come a long way in a year with my weight-loss after having my twins, my body just needs a little more attention than I have been giving it.

That’s when I decided to create a challenge for myself. I would set my timer everyday for 20 minutes and workout daily for two weeks (until I leave). For me, making smaller goals is more attainable. 20 min challengeI have found that my sweet spot is when the kids are all in bed. I sneak into my workout room, put something to watch on my iPad, set my timer and go. I am on day five now and honestly, I am loving it! I am finding this routine is very do-able, and dare I say it, enjoyable. IMG_0277

Just after these few days, I am already seeing my waist reappear and my thigh jiggle is calming down when I race up the stairs. An added bonus: I have suddenly become much more patient with my kids.

I think my brain can somehow handle this 20 minute idea. It doesn’t scare me. I have NEVER been an athlete. I refuse to play a sport with a team or a ball, and like my grandfather says, anytime I get the urge to exercise, I lay down until the feeling goes away.

But this tiny increment of time is something that I can handle.

Are you wondering what my at home exercise routine is? Check out my post about it: My Busy Mama, Super Easy, Do It At Home Exercise RoutineOnce I am done this routine, I hop on my treadmill for the remaining time and finish when the timer goes.

I am kind of using these two weeks as guinea pig trial. Once these two weeks are up, I am going  to make a new goal… stay tuned.

Do you want to join me? Or just follow along with my progress each day? Then follow me on Instagram and tag your 20 minute workout post #20min2weekchallenge