A Day In The Life with Four Kids

It’s been a while since I shared a “day in the life” video with you, but I am so glad I took the time to film one this week. I began creating these types of videos way back when I first started dabbling in YouTube as a way to give you a fly-on-the-wall look into our busy life and how I do things with four kids, including twins.

Although our twins aren’t crawling around and in diapers like when I first began creating these day in the life videos, today with all four kids in school I face new challenges. So grab a cup of coffee, put your feet up, or… let’s be real, pop your AirPods in and watch while you do the dishes, or put it on for your kids too. Regardless of how you watch it, I hope you enjoy!

Don’t forget to subscribe to Nesting Story’s YouTube channel. I put new videos out every Monday and Wednesday!

Twins… what was I getting into?

Me: “Is everything okay in there?”

Ultrasound Technician “Yes, everything is okay… times two.”

Me: “Ummm, excuse me.”

Yes, this is how my twin journey began. It was quite a surprise and one I will never forget. I realize all twin/multiples pregnancies begin their journey in many different ways and each and every one are truly unique, but mine was the classic Hollywood portrayal of stunned parents-to-be who at 12-weeks-pregnant have just found out that they are expecting not one but two babies.

Fast forward to the end of my pregnancy and I had NO idea how I was going to handle taking care of two babies at the same time. See, I was not a rookie mom, a few years earlier I had given birth to a daughter who was the star of our lives, but also demanded a lot of our attention. To be honest I wasn’t even sure if we could have handled bringing another baby into our family without losing our minds. I felt like I was still emerging from the new mom fog and I am ashamed to admit it but I may have googled “how to know if you should have another baby” one too many times. Alas, when we finally decided to give it a shot it didn’t even cross my mind that it could be a double shot.

From a mom of one to expecting two babies, dealing with a twin surprise by Fallon Melander and Nesting Story

So you can imagine how unprepared I felt. From things like strollers, car seats, bassinets and high chairs we needed to either buy new items or in the case of my car we had to upgrade to something larger that would fit three car seats safely. The economic impact alone of having two babies at once was a hard pill to swallow, and still is. But I can tell you the emotional and physical impacts for me were even harder. Extreme nausea, fatigue, joint pain and swelling combined with anxiety, fear, anger and panic kept me up all hours of the night. I read every book, joined every twin mom group and scoured the internet for all the information. But as prepared as I may have been the deep seed of the unknown began to weigh me down. That is until those babies were born. I did not have an “aha” moment during my pregnancy nor did I find a sense of calm. It wasn’t until those two babies were in my face with their perfect little round faces and tiny little bodies did I see the true miracle that was twins.

I was surprised with two babies and became a twin mom by Fallon Melander and Nesting Story

I hope to share my birth story and personal twin journey with you all soon but I really wanted to share my true side of finding out and processing a twin pregnancy and beyond. I hope this provides any of you who may be beginning your multiples journey or those in the midst of it some comfort that it is not all rainbows and butterflies. That fear and anxiety is okay and you are not alone. It does get better and it does get easier in other ways. Reach out to other twin mamas for support, don’t be afraid to ask for help, and know you are stronger than you think.

It’s time to call out the elephant in the room – yes, that meme is me

Ugh. I didn’t want to have to write this post, but, I feel like I need to address the elephant in the room. More for you than for me. Yes, … Continue reading “It’s time to call out the elephant in the room – yes, that meme is me”

yes, that meme is me - Joanna from Nesting Story

Ugh.

I didn’t want to have to write this post, but, I feel like I need to address the elephant in the room. More for you than for me.

Yes, that meme of a woman in a hospital bed who just had twins, but is photoshopped with two puppies and a dog is me.

Yes, I know.

Yes, my photo was stolen.

Yes, I can understand why you’d feel like your privacy had been shattered.

Let me start at the beginning.

Last spring, Mike turned to me a couple days before I was leaving to California for work and said, (with an “I have to tell you something” look in his eyes), that he’d come across a meme of me. He proceeded to tell me that he stumbled across a meme made of one of my photos.

He figured out that it had been stolen and used in a Reddit competition where the person photoshopped Mike and our twins out of the photo from my twin birth blog, and replaced them with dogs. Then the photo was stolen from Reddit and turned into a meme.

“Here we go again,” was the first thought that came to mind.

You see, I’ve had photos stolen before. Some along with full articles I have written. They’ve been published on big sites that you would be shocked to hear, either used for ads, or views.

I’ve had photos of me with my big pregnant belly stolen and circulated through pregnancy fetish groups.

I’ve even had my pregnancy ultrasounds stolen before by people faking a twin pregnancy. This one has oddly happened more than once.

Each of these times Mike has sent a scary, “we are going to send our lawyers after you,” letter which has resulted in the photos being taken down.

So when I was shown this harmless meme, which didn’t include my kids and was actually kind of funny, I acknowledged the skill of the photo-shopper who won the Reddit contest, that I was thankful that our kids weren’t in it and admitted it was annoying that once again my photo was stolen.

But the meme had gone viral. It was too big to take down, and I had a choice to make… do I fight this? Or do I have a chuckle and an eye-roll and get on with my day?

I chose the latter.

To go after it and have it taken down would require spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on lawyer fees and even then it might not be taken down. Listen to this podcast from Criminal and someone else’s experience trying to do just this: Criminal Podcast – Homewrecker

I chose to be a blogger and a content creator. I chose to share my story and my photos. This career isn’t for everyone. But it is for me.

I am an open-book and a storyteller. My passion for telling my story was born from a place of loneliness and longing for connection during my twin pregnancy. I get that sharing my story also means that I am opening up my life to opinions, and exposure.

I have thick skin.

For me, putting up with comments, the occasional troll and being turned into a meme, is better than heading to a 9-5 everyday. I tried that, and it didn’t make me happy. This job does. Sharing my story with others and maybe helping them through a dark place makes it worth it.

I am used to the internet at this point and it’s devious ways. I’m okay putting myself out there. But you better believe I am going to be fiercely vigilant when my kids start using social media, which by the way is a long ways away.

I totally get why you would feel exposed if that were your post delivery photo vandalized and shared millions of times. You didn’t choose to share your story as publicly as I have.

I so appreciate that you want to tag me, screen shot it and fill my DM’s inbox letting me know about this injustice. But let me save you the time…

I know.

So, what can you do about it? How can you help? If you want to tell a publisher that it is a stolen photo and they don’t have permission to use it, go for it! If you want to report the photo on Instagram and Facebook as stolen, please do! Thank you by the way, because this really does help.

But please resist tagging me, or letting me know.

In the meantime I’m good, sitting here in the meme hall of fame, sharing my story and building a supportive community.

Twins, four kids, the truth and why I’ve been afraid to say this out loud

A note to my readers… I have been sitting on this post for almost a year. I wrote it after a particular trying season, while taking a minute to breathe just outside of my daughter’s dance class. I was resistant to share it. Maybe because I needed the clouds to part. Although this still rings true when things get tough, it’s not such an overwhelming sensation anymore. I have updated my kids ages to reflect today. I hope that with sharing this piece, a mother somewhere might feel a little less alone.

Mother and four kids
Christmas portrait with twins and older siblings

I am about to talk about something that is an almost constant thought of mine. It is something that I think about often and I have only said out loud to three people before in fear that when I utter the words, I might not be understood. That I might be judged, or told that I am not grateful.

But I have decided to say these words out loud because I might not be the only parent of multiples to think this.

Maybe you will get it.

I’ve written a lot about our journey, from the moment we found out we were having two babies, to preparing for their arrival and babyhood with two. But the older our twins get, the less I feel I am going through twin-specific phases and the more I feel like we just happen to have two kids with the same birthday.

Truthfully, I forget I have twins half the time. But every once and a while, when we are in a pressure-cooker-situation, like trying to pop into a store and both of my four-year-olds melt down and they are too big to scoop up easily to abandon ship, I remember… oh yeah I have twins!

I should mention to anyone who is new to my blog, that I have two older kids too. An nine-year-old and a seven year old. Which as you can probably imagine, is a very busy life.

So here it is…

There is this sense of relief when I remember I have twins. The fact that I never had the choice to ease into four kids. The fact that I never had three kids and thought, let’s have one more.

Because in those moments, where I feel completely outnumbered and overwhelmed, I find comfort in the fact that I did not choose to jump from two to four.

Now before I get in too deep with this confession, I want to say that moms with four kids, or multiples are not “more of a mom” than moms with one, or two, or three kids. Moms with one kid have their own set of challenges, I get that. In fact I often tell parents that one was WAY harder than four, (no built in playmates, everything is a first, and there’s too much time to overthink every decision).

But we are busier. It’s a mathematical fact.

We have to bring four kids in from the car, who are cranky and hungry and just want to challenge us. We have to do four bedtimes, with four different sleep challenges. We have to satisfy four different appetites and keep track that each one ate at least something other than bread each day. We have four yearly dentist, doctor and eye-doctor appointments. Four different school and friend challenges… and the list goes on and on.

Every fall, here in Canada, we have to track down four sets of mitts, hats, winter coats, boots and snow pants, whether its digging through hand-me-down bins, or running from store to store not settling until you find snow pants with reinforced knee-patches, to save yourself a mid-winter shopping trip.

So, there it is. That’s the truth. It’s out there now.

But here’s the good thing… I wouldn’t have it any other way. I may have not chosen this path to four children, but I am so glad that I was dealt this hand.

Being a mom of four, and twins, has forced me to grow in ways that without my children, I would have never done. It has made me realize that it’s okay to give myself grace when I’ve had a rough day, and be kind to myself when it all feels like a lot.

On the hardest days I, ( after sometimes loosing my cool a little), will remind myself that letting go of perfection, and loving my family fiercely is almost always the solution.

How do I really feel about our twins graduating pre-school?

preschool graduation

Two weeks ago our twins, Mia and Everly, graduated pre-school at Kids and Company. It was totally adorable and I’ll admit it, a bit emotional too.

First of all, can we talk about their little caps that our twins’ teachers made out of black construction paper? Oh so cute! But as I sat there, on teeny chairs, as excited parents took photos of their first born hitting such a huge milestone, it hit me… these are our LAST babies. This is it.

Part of me has always loved doubling up on milestones with twins. Diapers, bottles, cribs, each of those phases rushed by us quickly with two and I never looked back. But lately I have been finding myself feeling a little cheated. I don’t get to bask in third and forth pre-school graduations; it’s a double whammy.

As our four kids excitedly scurried around the festively decorated classroom piling delicious snacks on their plates, I made sure I just slowed down and sat in the moment. In our little corner, amongst beanbag chairs and miniature sofas, I took it all in, trying to divide my attention between both excited children.

Don’t get me wrong. I am proud. I am oh so very proud. In fact, this is the moment we have been talking about since we laugh-cried, finding out that twins were on the way. But the moment is here and it is bittersweet.

So, what is my advice? Drink in every moment. The loose skin on your newborn’s knees, the way they keep sucking as they sleep, even after their pacifier has fallen out of their mouth. The first time they pull themselves up with a gleeful smile and get into something they know they aren’t supposed to. The giggles, oh the giggles! Drink it in mama.

This post was created in partnership with Kids & Company.

Finding a childcare that not only gives me time to build my career, but that my kids also love, has been such a wonderful aspect to having more of a work/life balance. Kids & Company has the flexibility I need with my schedule, but also the unique programming, learning opportunities, from-scratch meals and sense of community they provide fills me with such confidence in my choice in childcare.

With locations all across Canada, Kids & Company is a high-quality care and early development centre that parents can trust and kids will love. It started under the leadership of two moms (one with 8 children!), who felt there was a need for flexible care options in a setting with amazing teachers, community, proven development programs and an understanding of today’s families.

Whether it’s their Grab ‘n’Go snacks, parent workshops, or their complimentary care for date nights and shopping days outside of regular hours, nothing has been forgotten.

Here’s where it gets exciting… right now Kids and Company is waiving the registration fee (a $150 value) for Nesting Story readers! Just email amcnaught@kidsandcompany.com to access this exclusive offer.
One waved registration per family for a newly registering child before December 31, 2018. Subject to availability.

Disclosure: This post was sponsored by Kids & Company. While compensation was provided, all opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not necessarily indicative of the opinions of Kids & Company.

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