parenting Archives - Page 3 of 9

I’m actually enjoying Christmas vacation… well, so far

I am a routine freak. I don’t try to hide it. I need my routine. When pulled out of it, even for a weekend, I unravel.

But here I am, Thursday December 28th, and I am intact, mentally sound, and have not crumbled. Not even during the three straight days of family events, (some with two events per day). Nope, I’m as cool as a cucumber over here.

At least for now.

Maybe this is the sign of the times. I have emerged from the baby haze and can actually cope with life. Okay, okay, our twins went back to full-time daycare yesterday, so maybe I am cheating just a little. But hey, I have learned what works for our family, and I am taking full advantage of childcare so that Mike and I can spend some rare one-on-one time with our big kids.

Despite the plethora of toys our kids were given for Christmas, I have still heard, “I’m bored,” already at least ten times. My response… saying you’re bored buys you a ticket to play in the mounds of snow in our backyard. This redirects them pretty quickly, especially since it is -23° C outside here in Canada.

So, I survived Christmas. It was pretty great actually, despite some kids getting over colds, and Beau having a bad fall on Christmas morning. It was mostly magical. I’ve added our last couple vlogs below in case you want to catch up on our Christmas vacation.

Fingers crossed I keep going with the flow, and can survive the next week. But for now I am going to enjoy the all-day pj rule, the midday movie outings (we saw Wonder today, it was incredible), and Mike and my evening movie dates enjoying our new basement home theatre.

I hope you are surviving the holidays too, and are finding the unstructured days manageable. Fingers crossed!

I love my kids more than I love a clean house

Sometimes I will sit and reflect on me, pre-kids, just after Mike and I got married and we moved into our first home and just laugh at myself. I was so obsessive and anal about cleaning that I would barely even sit down to watch a show in the evening with my new husband. I was always “SOOO BUSY.” Ha!

I didn’t even know busy.

A lot has changed since then, (four kids, careers and a move later), and I have been through a lot, especially after adding each child to our family. My expectations have definitely been adjusted, and although my house is rarely spotless, I feel like I am doing a pretty good job.

Exhibit A – Photos I just took of my home in it’s current state

I’ve started to get in the habit of listening to a chatty YouTube video when driving in my car kids-free, and one this morning, on my way home from Walmart had me nodding my head in agreement constantly.

It was a video of Anna Saccone answering some questions from viewers. As a mom of three, she had some great insight into motherhood. Here are my favourite takeaways…

She talked about how she hasn’t felt depression sink in with her second, or third kids because she doesn’t have as much time to sit and over-think.

I couldn’t agree with this more. When people ask me about having four kids, my answer is, with one kid it’s hard and you overthink all the time. Plus if there is a lull in time you think you should be singing a song, be making homemade baby food, or reading a book. When you aren’t doing those things you feel guilty for putting your feet up.

When you have more than one kid, you are busy, in fact you feel like you are on a hamster wheel, but it isn’t nearly as hard and you don’t over analyze every decision.

I can’t tell you how many times I say to myself, when moving from one child’s crisis to the next child, “well kid, you’re going to be okay because you have to be okay, there are other people waiting in line.” I swear my kids as a litter of puppies are way happier than when my son was an only child.

Anna also talked about trying to keep her house clean and everything in it’s place. She said she’s let go a bit because let’s face it, she has three kids and six dogs. You could drive yourself crazy trying to keep your house spotless with that much chaos.

So, when the mess starts to really bug her, she reminds herself that she loves her kids more than a clean house.

So simple, yet such great advice!

Watch her video for these, plus more great bits of insight into motherhood…

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A calm came over me when I realized I was stressed, and I was able to put the chocolate down

I did something yesterday that I never do. I bought and ate a chocolate bar mid-day.

Really, this is something I don’t do. But yet I found myself on a Sunday afternoon, escaping the chaos at our house, at the store in our neighbourhood picking up coffee and buying a chocolate bar.

I snuck into our house, back into the chaos as Mike waited for the all-clear to head back to our basement, (which we are finishing), to continue working on it, while I made my way back to our living room, and plopped myself back into the midst of the laundry I had been folding, with a coffee in one hand and my chocolate bar concealed in a bag in the other.

I waited as kids zipped passed me, not noticing that I was packing heat, before I stole my first bite. I sat there for the next ten minutes, folding laundry, sipping coffee, eating chocolate, while ignoring fights, mess, too much screen time and the sound of drilling coming from our basement.

What is going on here? I had been stress eating more days than not. What was triggering this need for sugar and carbs?

Then it hit me… this whole finishing our basement project was seriously stressing me out. Not to mention that our twins have not napped in over a month.

Ohhhh I’m stressed, that’s the feeling I am having lately.

It’s kind of funny that it took me so long to realize that those two elements in my world have been causing me so much stress.

The basement, on one hand, was supposed to be done in September, but between contractors cancelling, Mike trying to find time here and there to hack away at it, and life in general, it’s been delayed. I am crossing my fingers at this point that it will be done for Christmas.

We’ve also been holding most of the kids toys hostage, (out of necessity, not intentionally), in a storage area in our basement, along with our seasonal bins of clothes, other than a few I rescued and am now co-habiting with upstairs.

The kids and I miss their dad, we miss the space down there, and we generally feel like life has been on pause. Add naps being over, and we are all going a little cooky.

But when I was able to pinpoint why I’m stressed, and recognize that it was circumstantial and temporary, this calm washed over me.

Maybe I don’t have to gain five pounds while we finish our basement. Maybe I can plan better for the weekends, go take a bath, read a book, or fall down a Netflix rabbit hole while we are in this mini survival mode.

For me, it’s pinpointing that feeling that is making my heels drag that is half the battle. Once I know what it is, I can problem-solve, which for this “doer” is the best medicine.

Join us for our weekend and my confession about our lengthly basement renovation…

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Stress management and leading with love

This week was one filled with ups and downs, triumphs, and exciting new beginnings.

Last weekend we continued to struggle through our twins’ temper tantrums and hitting phase, which I can only conclude is them approaching the “trying threes.” Actually, as I sit here right now, it has dawned on me that they turn three next month! Where has the time gone?

But last weekend I started to realize that I was getting way too wrapped up in, and worked up with every tantrum, fight and frustrating behaviour. This, in turn had been taking a physical toll on me, with constant sore shoulders, migraines and extreme exhaustion. I was outputting way to much energy, when it wasn’t necessary.

So, what have I done about it? I am chilling out. I am taking deep breaths, ignoring, redirecting, and just trying to stay calm. Guess what? It’s actually working.

As the week progressed, although it had its peeks, I experienced some more difficult situations. After having a good cry, I regrouped and took the three steps it has taken me over thirty years to learn to do… which you can watch here:

But something really exciting happened this week… I hired a team member for Nesting Story and AmandaMuse and I hosted our Story Muse & Co. team for dinner, which was incredibly exciting and inspiring. Welcome to my week…

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Parenting with intention

I’m not going to lie. Parenting four kids can be a mad scramble most days. Our house looks like a tornado went through it if we all try to go out together and making sure that baths are done, teeth are brushed and nails are clipped on a regular basis can be a tedious chore.

But as the clouds part and we move out of the baby phase Mike and I are starting to realize that our kids are growing up fast. We’ve had a lot of firsts lately, and many coming up within the near future. While we try to keep on top of everything, we both know we are far from perfect.

School newsletters get missed, appointments are forgotten and we are having breakfast for dinner far too often. But that’s the reality of our life right now.

One thing that we are trying to do more of is parent with intention. One on ones with our older kids are becoming more frequent, and family outings to a restaurant, or to get family photos taken are happening without major meltdowns, (from both our kids and us).

I know that this is our world right now and it’s not always pretty. But if we keep making those connections, creating those memories and parenting with intention, our kids won’t remember the messes left behind and the dishes left in the sink for a couple of days.

Here’s what we have been up to the past week, including outings, family photos, and buying our twins their big girl beds.

Have you started to do anything special with your kids lately, like a special outing? I’d love to hear about it. Please let me know in the comments below.Don’t forget to subscribe to Nesting Story on YouTube so that you don’t miss a video!