four kids Archives - Page 3 of 8

My top tips on how I have raised four great sleepers

This post was created in partnership with hydraSense®. To make sure hydraSense® products are right for you, always read and follow the label.

Bedtime. Every parent wants to crack this one. Not only can sleep be hard to come by as a parent, but it’s your job to teach your kids healthy bedtime habits and how to sleep through the night. Not to mention that depending on the age and stage of your child, sleep is constantly morphing and it’s up to you to decode it and figure out how to tweak it to your child’s needs.

Having four kids with good sleep habits hasn’t come without hard work and occasional hiccups. But for me, healthy sleep for our whole family is a priority and I have been fiercely protective of it from day one.

Here are some helpful trouble shooting tips I have picked up along the way that may just help your family too.

Have a plan. Before I get into the importance of having a plan, I think it is important to say that it’s okay to throw your plan, or someone else’s suggested plan out the window if it is just not working for you. I did. When I first became a mom I tried to fit our son Holden into this very strict sleeping schedule that I read in a parenting book. It drove me crazy when he just wouldn’t conform to this generic formula that had nothing to do with my baby. It felt so good to let other people’s rules go and just follow my gut, knowing that finding what works may take some trial and error.

When I found out I was having twins, I thought of everything, including how to create an optimal sleep environment in their nursery, to rehearsing (using dolls), our future night time routine. This might sound a little overboard, but after being through the baby stage twice I knew that a plan and having a goal made a big difference. For me it was having my twins sleep in their cribs, in their own room from day one and that I would be able to independently do night feedings from the beginning. This plan paid off and actually worked really well.

Get creative when you hit a bump in the road. Just this past week, Mia (one of our three year old twins), started into some separation anxiety and a fear stage. This caused Mia to wake up nightly crying and screaming for hours on end. Despite what we would try, Mia’s hysterics would escalate keeping her twin sister, Everly awake in the bed beside her. Eventually, we began taking Mia into our bed, (something we try to avoid); just so that we could all just get some sleep.

After a few days of this I decided something had to be done. What could help Mia stay in bed all night and avoid the tears? That’s when I came up with the idea for a sticker chart. So that day I set out to buy special poster paper and stickers and created three charts, one for each of our girls (our son didn’t want one). This little reward in the morning has changed everything. Since implementing a sticker chart, we haven’t heard a peep from either Mia or Everly at night.

Be consistent. This is probably one of the most common rules to babies and kids sleeping well. Have a schedule and stick to it. Our schedule was something that I was fiercely protective of which has created very predictable sleeping patterns and happy bedtimes. Anytime we’ve been forced out of routine because of special events, or trips we see the ripple effect. So, we make sure that whenever possible we can try to schedule life around our sleep routines.

Relax and be ready when your kids get sick. All of my tips above are great… when your kids are healthy, but every once and while an illness settles into our home and disrupts everyone’s sleep. Often, when our kids get colds, it hits Everly extra hard. She has always been more prone to congestion than our other kids and it’s our job to make sure I can reduce and relieve her nasal cold symptoms to help her breathe better.

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Disclosure: This post was sponsored by hydraSense®. While compensation was provided, all opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not necessarily indicative of the opinions of hydraSense®. To make sure hydraSense® products are right for you, always read and follow the label.

I love my kids more than I love a clean house

Sometimes I will sit and reflect on me, pre-kids, just after Mike and I got married and we moved into our first home and just laugh at myself. I was so obsessive and anal about cleaning that I would barely even sit down to watch a show in the evening with my new husband. I was always “SOOO BUSY.” Ha!

I didn’t even know busy.

A lot has changed since then, (four kids, careers and a move later), and I have been through a lot, especially after adding each child to our family. My expectations have definitely been adjusted, and although my house is rarely spotless, I feel like I am doing a pretty good job.

Exhibit A – Photos I just took of my home in it’s current state

I’ve started to get in the habit of listening to a chatty YouTube video when driving in my car kids-free, and one this morning, on my way home from Walmart had me nodding my head in agreement constantly.

It was a video of Anna Saccone answering some questions from viewers. As a mom of three, she had some great insight into motherhood. Here are my favourite takeaways…

She talked about how she hasn’t felt depression sink in with her second, or third kids because she doesn’t have as much time to sit and over-think.

I couldn’t agree with this more. When people ask me about having four kids, my answer is, with one kid it’s hard and you overthink all the time. Plus if there is a lull in time you think you should be singing a song, be making homemade baby food, or reading a book. When you aren’t doing those things you feel guilty for putting your feet up.

When you have more than one kid, you are busy, in fact you feel like you are on a hamster wheel, but it isn’t nearly as hard and you don’t over analyze every decision.

I can’t tell you how many times I say to myself, when moving from one child’s crisis to the next child, “well kid, you’re going to be okay because you have to be okay, there are other people waiting in line.” I swear my kids as a litter of puppies are way happier than when my son was an only child.

Anna also talked about trying to keep her house clean and everything in it’s place. She said she’s let go a bit because let’s face it, she has three kids and six dogs. You could drive yourself crazy trying to keep your house spotless with that much chaos.

So, when the mess starts to really bug her, she reminds herself that she loves her kids more than a clean house.

So simple, yet such great advice!

Watch her video for these, plus more great bits of insight into motherhood…

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Why I do what I do and the mistake I made when I became a mom

For me, before becoming a mother, I thought motherhood was my end game. In fact for the first few years after becoming a mom, I gave up my identity thinking that is what a great mother does.

Instead that made me miserable, resentful and dull.

I realized that being a great mom meant finding my own path and still having my own identity, so that I am happy and joy-filled, which spills over to my kids and husband who I love fiercely.

Years later I made myself a promise as I lay on our couch, growing two babies inside of me, feeling my identity slip away once again…

I would live life fearlessly and share my journey with others.

My hope is that my family can connect with moms who are trying to find themselves again, who wonder if it’s okay if she takes her own path. Moms who are finding their journey very different and a little more terrifying than they anticipated. Parents who are lonely and just want to feel a little more normal. Moms who are lying on their sofas, growing life inside them, not knowing what is about to come.

I am so excited that I am now sharing my journey on Baby Center’s YouTube channel as well. Check out our first video and don’t forget to subscribe to Baby Center and hit the notification button so that you don’t miss a video!

Parenting with intention

I’m not going to lie. Parenting four kids can be a mad scramble most days. Our house looks like a tornado went through it if we all try to go out together and making sure that baths are done, teeth are brushed and nails are clipped on a regular basis can be a tedious chore.

But as the clouds part and we move out of the baby phase Mike and I are starting to realize that our kids are growing up fast. We’ve had a lot of firsts lately, and many coming up within the near future. While we try to keep on top of everything, we both know we are far from perfect.

School newsletters get missed, appointments are forgotten and we are having breakfast for dinner far too often. But that’s the reality of our life right now.

One thing that we are trying to do more of is parent with intention. One on ones with our older kids are becoming more frequent, and family outings to a restaurant, or to get family photos taken are happening without major meltdowns, (from both our kids and us).

I know that this is our world right now and it’s not always pretty. But if we keep making those connections, creating those memories and parenting with intention, our kids won’t remember the messes left behind and the dishes left in the sink for a couple of days.

Here’s what we have been up to the past week, including outings, family photos, and buying our twins their big girl beds.

Have you started to do anything special with your kids lately, like a special outing? I’d love to hear about it. Please let me know in the comments below.Don’t forget to subscribe to Nesting Story on YouTube so that you don’t miss a video!

I’ve Decided To Start Clocking Out From My Mom Job

This morning I woke up and I was already done. My “patience bucket,” as we call it in our house was empty and I was running on fumes.

As I finally sat down to my now cold breakfast, after racing around getting my four kids their food first, my five year old started grunting like an animal, gesturing at the napkins in front of me.

I glared back at her, seething with frustration, and said, “mommy, may I have a napkin please? That is what I need to hear if you are going get a napkin.” She rolled her eyes and repeated the words with a twinge of angst in her voice. I passed her the napkin as I used every fibre in my body to hold back the explosion bubbling below the surface.

As I drove everyone around to school and daycare, thirty hectic minutes later, I could feel it coming… this all to familiar feeling of my mind breaking apart, my cheeks hot and knowing I had nothing left.

It wasn’t even 9:00 A.M. yet, and I was utterly depleted.

I requested quiet in the car and blamed me needing to concentrate on my driving, as I request all too often.

I just needed silence.

Lately I have been trying to find a new balance in my world. For a while now, while I run my own business from home, I have poured almost every penny into childcare. Recently after some very honest discussions with my husband, we decided to cut our two youngest kids’ daycare, (the ones who aren’t in school yet), in half.

So, here I am. Still working just as hard as ever, often during naps, but I am also momming hard too.

I have been making more of an effort to really enjoy my four kids more, involve them more, and focus on them more during the day. That has included reading more, playing more, cooking with them more and basically just participating in life with them more than I had when I was still in the trenches after having our twins. I am really enjoying it too.

But by about 5:00 P.M. each day I can feel a shift happen, and it’s not really fun anymore.

It’s work. Hard work.

Because my older kids are going to bed later and later, my evenings are including more reading, help with homework, or a game night. Don’t get me wrong, my husband is there too, and he is all about family (which includes me) all. the. time.

By the time the big kids are finally in bed, my husband and I eat dinner and binge watch which ever TV series we are into. Or at least he’s into and I am kind of into.

But here’s the thing… I have loaded a whole bunch of extra stuff on my plate lately, and haven’t protected any time for me.

I’d really like to get back to working out. Or maybe start reading again… you know, real books? I haven’t read a book in about seven years, which is pretty sad when I really think about it.

I’d love to have a bit of gravy work time. Just a bit of extra time that isn’t already dedicated to a deadline, where I can just work on something creatively, without pressure.

I’d love to have a hot bath. A long hot bath, where I can just lay there long enough to get wrinkly fingers and toes. Maybe, just maybe I could soak long enough that I’d have to add a bit more hot water… ohhhh while reading a book. Yes, a long hot bath while reading a book.

Sorry guys, I didn’t mean for this to turn into porn for moms. Back to the point.

As I finished my morning drop-offs, it finally dawned on me. I need to start clocking out from my mom job.

Stay with me.

I had a pretty amazing childhood. My parents are still happily married, and I too was one of four kids.

My mom mommed hard everyday too. But guess what? After my dad arrived home from work, and we had all finished dinner, she passed the torch to him.

My mom would spend every evening washing dishes in an empty kitchen, because she would request some quiet. Then head upstairs and have a long bath while reading yet another book. Well, this was her routine on the nights that she didn’t go out and pursue her dream as an opera singer.

She clocked out of her mom job in the evenings, and we all respected this fact. There was no guilt trip, no being made to feel bad, no mom shaming. It was the way it was and it worked for everybody.

While my mom was doing her thing, my dad would head to the basement with all of us, and we would wrestle, (picture a litter of puppies, only the puppies are children), play games, or go outside.

Even in the dead of winter.

After a couple of hours my dad would go take his own break, while we watched a bit of tv, or just entertained ourselves before reuniting with my mom, who would read us a book and put us to bed.

I have amazing memories of my evenings as a child. My mom was onto something.

As I pulled into our driveway and started to prepare myself to get as many deadlines done as I could before I picked up our twins in a couple of hours, I phoned my husband.

I explained to him how I felt, and that I needed to be off parenting duty more in the evening. I reassured him that we will still spend quality time together, but I needed this. He quickly agreed, I think because he had witnessed my breakfast death-stare.

Don’t get me wrong, there will still be cuddles, and books and bedtime routines, but I am off the hook in the evening. I have found that chunk of time each day for me that I so badly need.

People say that being a parent is the hardest job in the world, and I would have to agree. It’s very rewarding, but it is a lot of work, and it drains your mind, body and soul. We have to create more boundaries so that we don’t loose ourselves in it, or the joy about it.

I think my family is going to be just fine without me in the evenings.

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