This is the year that I will find my joy

2018

As this past year was winding down I was feeling so burnt out. It wasn’t a shock to me. As I looked back at 2017 and reflected on my accomplishments, responsibilities, and the tough stuff, I was surprised that I am still standing here in one piece. No wonder I was burnt out.

For some reason 2017 brought this notion that I should hustle harder than I ever have before and pack as much into my days that I possibly could. In some ways this mentality worked, especially for growing my business. But along the way I lost my joy.

During those jam-packed days, weeks and months, there wasn’t enough time to slow down, let go and feel joy.

I wasn’t miserable, at least not all the time, but I spent most of everyday working on to-do lists, whether it was packing for trips, unpacking from trips, finishing work deadlines, or trying to keep our house a float during the craziness in a robotic kind of way.

As the fall approached, some tough stuff came our way, which forced both myself and Mike to self reflect and think about what we really want and what is really important.

On the top of my list was to find my joy again. To actually experience life instead of surviving, or controlling life. So, how exactly am I going to do this?

Play. I think one of the biggest areas that I fall short as a mother, is just stopping and playing. Mike is great at this, but I am always too busy, or too tired to just stop and play, colour, or play a board game. This needs to change, for my whole family’s sake. The dishes can wait. The laundry can be folded later. My work can wait until my kids are at school. They won’t be little for long and I am missing it.

DelegateAs a business owner, who has experienced growth in the past year, it has become glaringly obvious that I can’t do everything myself anymore. I am a mother of four and I need to draw my “work” line somewhere. I am going into 2018 with two new team members and I know that it is my job to help my team flourish.

Find my own fun. This year I am taking up skiing again. I was an avid skier from age five until I became a parent. Then I just stopped. This year, I finally asked for new skis for Christmas, and I plan to get out there. Plus I live five minutes away from a ski hill that I have not been taking advantage of. Date nights with Mike and an occasional day of hooky from working will be good for my soul.

Stop waiting for the things I want. This past year, I started to really think about the dream I have for our home, myself and our family and started to work towards it. For so long we were just surviving moves, babies and twins. For the first time in my life I feel like the dust has settled just enough that I can start chasing some dreams.

So, I have been purging all the stuff in our house, which is still a work in progress. I bought white couches. I always wanted white couches and finally decided that I would just do it, and know that each little dirty spot just meant it was loved by our family. Involve myself in home improvements and renovations. Also, our family will be welcoming a puppy in January. Yes, you heard me right, we are getting a dog. This is a dream that is nine years in the making and we are finally doing it.

I will be talking more on the blog about him soon, but in the meantime, here’s a video about our newest addition.

Create a better relationship with cooking. Remember how I said that in 2017 our family was crazy busy, or at least I was? Well, it was so busy that I stopped cooking all together. Dinners were take-out, pre made grocery store meals, and meals from boxes. My sweet family never complained and I just kept telling myself that it was fine, that I couldn’t do it all and it was the thing that was being left of my plate.

Well, at the end of August I had a health scare that woke me right up. For the past few months I have not only taken up cooking again, but I have been trying new recipes, created a “kitchen playlist” and have begun to love creating in our kitchen. I plan to continue this journey in 2018.

Make caring for my body fun and second nature. Many of my past New Years resolutions have revolved around weight loss. This year I am relaxing a bit and plan to build exercise and healthy eating into my daily routine without obsessing. This will involve carefully choosing the ingredients I cook with, walking our new dog, leaving our home to go to the gym, and skiing.

But I will stop depriving myself of a glass of wine, or a piece of chocolate. Besides, my new found joy will replace emotional eating.

What are your plans for 2018? I’d love to hear them!

This Is The Year I Put Myself Back On My To-Do List

IMG_0707I learned within the first couple years of becoming a mother, that losing myself in the process does not make me a better parent. The more I gave and let my world revolve around my children, without taking time for me, the more depressed I felt. I was eventually a miserable person to be around.

It wasn’t until three years after becoming a mom, did I really start to rediscover who I was after having children. I knew I wasn’t the same person I was before having kids, and it was time to figure out who I was.

With a lot of trial and error, time spent with other mom friends and taking breaks for myself, I have figured out new strengths, found my tribe and feel more comfortable (post babies) in my skin than I have ever felt before.

Although I have a lot of exciting things going on in my world, including my kids and husband, I am allowing myself to repeatedly become burnt out over and over again. I have unknowingly created this cycle where I race around each day working, shuffling kids to and from school and daycare, tidying and then repeating the next day without taking enough time for me.

Yes, I have found how to carve some time out to exercise each day, but I don’t feel like I have been feeding my soul.On my to do listOnce upon a time, in a past life, I used to be an artist and an Interior Designer. This is the year that I find time to be creative, to use my talents that have become dormant during motherhood.

I used to laugh and have fun. I don’t laugh enough these days.

I used to push myself our of my comfort zone, including trying new sports. I haven’t been taking enough risks.

This is the year that I put less of my energy, time and patience into worrying about things like work deadlines, my kids, my marriage and my weight. Instead, I will just do.

I will work without over-obsessing.

I will enjoy my kids, lead by example, yell less and be more in tune.

Twins

I will continue to create new memories with my husband, let the little things go and allow myself to be more carefree with him.

I will create art and take on some DIY projects in my home.

I will watch less TV, and take hot baths or read instead.

I will eat less calories, but enjoy a glass of wine each day.

I will love my body regardless if I have had a great week full of fitness and healthy eating, or if I have slipped, and had to pull back a little.

I will live in the moment, laugh more and allow myself to experience life’s joy.

 

What is on your bucket list this year?

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