Making Tough Decisions as a Couple

Joanna Venditti January 23, 2019 Family, Relationships

This post was created in partnership with RBC Insurance.

Ten years ago my husband Mike and I decided to have a will made. We hadn’t been married long, we had just purchased a rental property and I was pregnant with our first child. All of these new life changes happened within two years. The rental property was an investment, which would allow me to stay home with our son.

Going into the meeting with our new lawyer, someone who had been recommended by a family member, I felt young, like I didn’t belong. I was 26 years old and I had to keep reminding myself I was an adult and that I had earned a seat at that table. 

The lawyer began the process of the Will asking many, many questions, including who would be our power of attorney, if down the road we had more kids, how would we split our inheritance, and who would our kids go to if something happened to both of us. 

My heart was in my throat. 

This sparked a discussion about which family or friends we could see parenting our kids best if both Mike and I died. We weighed back and forth and finally came to a decision together based on many factors. Do they already have kids? Do they live near our parents so that our kids’ grandparents could be in their lives? Are their values in line with ours? 

This wasn’t an easy decision to make, but I am so glad we have that in place. It really does give me peace of mind to know that I would have some kind of control beyond the grave… as morbid as that sounds.

father and daughter

Ten years, four kids, one dog, and zero rental properties later, (we sold it, it was too much work for our lifestyle), we are continuing to have those tough “what if” discussions, our latest being life insurance.

If something happened to one of us, we don’t want the other left with a significant financial burden from funeral costs and lost wages. We are interested in RBC’s simplified term coverage which would cover us up to $1MM. So for someone my age, 36, who is a non-smoker it is just $33 a month. We plan to make small lifestyle changes to fit this into our monthly budget. Life insurance can help pay off loans and debts; maintain lifestyle and pay day-to-day expenses like childcare and groceries; pay for children’s education and cover expenses like funeral costs.

This just makes sense to us. If this scenario were to play out, I could focus on supporting our kids, healing, and rebuilding our lives and helping it take a new form that works for our family.

mother and daughter

I’m sure we have many more tough decisions in our future, and who knows what’s around the corner for our family. But the best thing we can do right now is create that safety net and then go on living a joy-filled life, soaking up every minute we have with our family and living fearlessly.

Recently Mike and I discussed how we make hard decisions as a couple on an episode of The Fold, which you can watch here:

Disclosure: This post was sponsored by RBC Insurance. While compensation was provided, all opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not necessarily indicative of the opinions of RBC Insurance.

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