Recently I was asked if I ever yell at my kids. The truth is, yes I yell, but I am working on it.
Let’s face it, parenting is hard and sometimes you just want to scream.
I have found yelling a slippery slope. It can become a bad habit and uncontrollable at times.
There are weeks where I feel like all I do is yell and there are other weeks that I am shocked at my level of patience, even when I am being slapped by one of my toddlers.
But I have come a long way and it has required a lot of pre-meditated thought and prevention to stop the yelling cycle in our home.
The biggest factor which has caused this positive shift is reducing my stress level and fiercely protecting my sleep. When I am zen and properly rested, I can handle the full cup of milk being intentionally poured on the carpet by my two-year-old, or my five and seven-year-old’s fights because despite our large home, they have to be within four inches of each other.
I have also found that the further I move away from the baby stage, the more I can get in front of the problem, or think clearly enough to use other methods to communicate with my children than yelling.
Maybe it’s because the haze of sleep deprivation and the frantic moments that a newborn can bring, is gone. I am showering regularly now and having more “me” time. All of these things are doing something to me that keeps me level headed.
I have learned that validating my toddler’s feelings by asking her if she’s mad and making sure she knows I get how she feels can stop a meltdown in it’s tracks.
I have learned that my big kids are pretty smart, and if I give them a heads up that I am exhausted and my “patience bucket” is almost empty, they get it and ease up on me.
Most of all I have heard what I sound like some days when editing our vlog. In fact watching myself get snippy has completely changed the way I talk to our family.
Do I really sound like that?
I highly suggest setting up a camera in your home. You’d be surprised.
So… yes I yell. But barely anymore. I will probably always pepper my parenting with yelling because I am human and some situations, (specifically when safety is concerned), calls for it.
Here’s a peek into our chaotic world…