I Am Choosing To Focus On What Is In My Control

Joanna Fowler November 11, 2016 Blog, Family, Self

untitled-1-of-1-3I have been wanting to say something all week and have been struggling to find the words. I am struggling because I don’t want to alienate anyone, or create more upheaval. I want to find a way to state how I feel which can facilitate healing at a time when our world has been turned upside-down.

I have gone back and forth debating if I should say anything at all. Do I even have a place weighing in as a white Canadian woman?

Yes, I do.

The truth is, I have felt physically ill all week. My body has been in shock, my mind has been racing and my heart has been heavy. It has been hard to get on with my day-to-day tasks when I can feel the world broken.

It wasn’t until I read my friend’s article that I finally felt like someone had perfectly articulated how I felt, or even better yet, given myself and my husband a new perspective to see things from. I strongly encourage you to read her article: To my friends who voted for Trump & claim they aren’t racist. – Baby Making Machine.

I want you to know that I am against hate. I am against racism, bigotry, misogyny, homophobia, and bullying of any kind.

So? What now? I had no bearing on this election. Up until this point I have felt helpless.

Until now.

This is what I have decided I can do.

I will focus on what I do have control over.

I can stand with those who are hurting. I can raise my children to be loving, accepting, strong people. I can choose love.

I can look inward and see where I need to change. That I should widen my circle of friends, listen more, get to know other families in my community better, learn more, be a voice and a safe-haven to those who need it.

I will continue to share my life, my experiences as a mother/wife/friend/sister/daughter, my missteps, my triumphs, my failures, all while constantly striving to lead by example.

I am hurting, but I am hopeful.

I choose love and I hope you do too.


Share this post:

7 thoughts on “I Am Choosing To Focus On What Is In My Control”

    1. I live in Buffalo NY. Border town to a great nation -Canada! You have every reason to say what you did. I almost ” fell off the couch” when Trump won. I think your idea of focusing on what you can control. To a certain extent Congress can stop him from doing anything that would hurt the world. 1/2 of our Congress is voted in every two years. 1/3 of the Senate every two years. Those Republicans are going to protect their jobs. I wish we would vote a President the way do with your Prime Minister within a few months instead of 18 months of racism.

  1. Nicely said. I am trying to do the same with my little spot in this world with my little family.


  2. I am currently grieving as a white American woman who is also against hatred or discrimination of any kind. I was horrified for the way we’d be perceived after this election. Thank you for your words. Thank you for caring. ❤️

  3. I’m a Hispanic first generation American and as you stated I was devastated by the election results and what it means to my 2 baby girls. I stumbled upon your post and I’m glad because it means we are not alone in wanting the very best for our babies and that means being the best role model for them. It means every act of kindness, love and empathy that my husband and I model for them is even more important today than ever. To live the that act the defies all the uglyness in the world. Thank you.

Comments are closed.