Although I loved being pregnant, having babies and planning for my next pregnancy, there was always a part of me that fantasized about being out of that stage in life. So much of my identity for so many years was wrapped up in the baby phase.
But it wasn’t until I was pregnant with our third and fourth babies, (twins), that I really longed to have my body back and regain my own identity apart from pregnancy, nursing and being a mother to newborns.
It was during that time when I had to give up control of my parenting, my home, and my body, that I truly realized there could be a lot more to who I was than creating life.
Still, I took my time and relished every kick, those first few days when my babies were born, and every milestone since. But slowly and surely I shifted to a more (healthy) focus on myself.
In the past 18 months, since having my last baby, there have been a lot of triumphs and stumbles. But most of all, there have been many important lesson I have learned about balancing my marriage, four kids and myself.
I didn’t quite realize that switching from constant survival mode would be such a task. It also took me time to realize that I need to create safe guards for the most important people in my life, to be able to balance my career, motherhood and being a present wife.